| Question Title | Posted By | Question Date |
|---|---|---|
| Concerning an usher | Carl | Monday, December 5, 2011 |
Question: Please let me know if I am over reacting on this situation. There is this usher who, when he is taking up the collection, has to thank everyone who donates, "Thank you, God Bless You", Thank you, God Bless you" over and over. This is usually when the choir and the congregation are singing and the other ushers are very quiet. Also, and this is what bugs me, this same usher, when the ushers are directing people pew by pew going up to communion, has to greet every one coming out of the pew. He either shakes their hand, pats them on the back, gives them a hug, pats little children on the head and at times I have seen him sort of caress the hair of young ladies, all the time speaking to everyone, greeting them, smiling at them, etc. This bothers me because I want to have my thoughts directed at our Lord, praying to Him and maybe contemplating on the Communion Song. In other words, it seems like this usher HAS to touch everybody and be friendly with them. A kind smile if eye contact is made is no problem but the rest can be very distracting. He greets people with a smile and a greeting when they come in and when they leave the church and that is great. But I feel communion time is a very solemn time and the ushers should quietly direct people and not get all chummy with them. My wife also finds this disturbing. He seems like a very nice gentlemen and I'm sure he means well. Should I mention something to the pastor or am I over reacting and let things be. Thank you. |
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| Question Answered by Bro. Ignatius Mary, OMSM(r), L.Th., D.D.
Dear Carl: Well, as things go this is rather unimportant. However, when communion is distributed it is a solemn time. It is not a time for greeting. There is a place in the Mass for greeting and that is when it is to be done. In addition, while this man is well intentioned, he is also being unintentionally rude. Some people do not like to be unsolicitly touched. Giving a hug is particularly rude. I would recoil at that. As a child, I would be irritated at pats on the head. That is rather patronizing. Caressing the hair of girls or woman is WAY out of line in my view. This is a delicate situation because the man, I am sure, is well-intentioned and thinks he is doing the Christian thing. But, the Mass provides for a greeting. It is liturgically improper to offer that greeting during the Mass procession. If it was me, I would talk to the man privately and as delicately and diplomatically as I can explain to him that people are bothered by his forwardness and feel like their meditation is distrubed as they proceed to receive the Eucharist. I would remind him that there is a place for greeting in the Mass and that it needs to be restricted to that time. I would probably also explain to him that some people are very uncomfortable being hugged or patted on the back. He needs to understand that the Mass is not a fellowship time. It is worship and our focus is to be on God, not each other like we would in the Church hall. This also relates to people clapping when someone sings. It is not appropriate. God Bless, Footer Notes: This forum is for general questions on the faith. See specific Topic Forums below: Spiritual Warfare, demons, the occult go to our Spiritul Warfare Q&S Forum. Liturgy Questions go to our Liturgy and Liturgical Law Q&A Forum Liturgy of the Hours (Divine Office) Questions go to our Divine Office Q&A Forum Defenfing the Faith Questions go to our Defending the Faith Q&A Forum Church History Questions go to our Church History Q&A Forum
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