Question:
Hello Bro. Ignatius,
I've been a volunteer for 4 years at my Parish as a catechist and also as Coordinator of catechesis for children. It has been a good work but a difficult one.
We, as volunteers, have meetings to attend. But in the last couples of months I have lost interest to attend because the most of meetings are a "battle" of accusing others and do not respecting the work of each other or respecting each other as human beings.
The Pastoral Council had a meeting other day and the work of catechesis came up. Only one or two said good things and one of them said that she doesn't like my way... (not my work!). Very strange because our way is us! The father said nothing, nor even to stop the bad example.
I'm feeling so sad, without motivation to keep going at this parish. In november there will be a big meeting to change the pastoral Concil and pastoral coordinations. But "this woman" maybe continue there.
so What to do? Should I go to this meeting?
Thinking about the Bible... I can say some words to the priest, a fraternal correction about how we have to help people and not giving power to them to tell in front of anyone her dislike to me?
thank you so much,
Susi
Dear Susi:
One of the biggest frustrations about parish work is that parishes are made up of people
It is unfortunate that egos, pride, rivalry, and the like interferes with the work of God. Catechesis is one of the most important ministries in any parish. That fact is why the devil tries to disrupt it as much as possible.
The Pastoral Council, the catechetical team, and the Pastor needs to take a breath and remember what you are all there for -- to teach the faith to children. Souls are at stake.
Given all the discord it is probably best to change the Council and leaders.
As for this particular woman that you identify as a problem, you need to pray for her specifically, as well as for the whole parish as they work out these problems.
If you have not confronted this person directly, you may want to approach her explain your concerns about the relationship between her and you. In doing this, be charitable and do not be accusatory. The first priority is to gain information, not to argue the issues. Find out her side of the story. Then, if possible seek a diplomatic solution.
If a solution is not possible, perhaps there are others who understand the situation who could talk to her and you to work out a solution, to arbitrate as-it-were.
If that does not work, then go to the pastor with your concerns.
This process is the one outlined in Scriptures:
(Matthew 18:15-17) "If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every word may be confirmed by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector."
We all have a duty for charity. It sounds like this woman has failed in charity toward you. Nevertheless, you need to be very careful to maintain charity towards her regardless of what she does.
Before doing anything spend a lot of time in prayer.
God Bless,
Bro. Ignatius Mary
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