Dear Estelle:

There are three forms of speech or writing that are sin: Calumny, Rash Judgment, and Detraction. The Catechism defines:

2477 Respect for the reputation of persons forbids every attitude and word likely to cause them unjust injury. He becomes guilty:

- of rash judgment who, even tacitly, assumes as true, without sufficient foundation, the moral fault of a neighbor;

- of detraction who, without objectively valid reason, discloses another's faults and failings to persons who did not know them;

- of calumny who, by remarks contrary to the truth, harms the reputation of others and gives occasion for false judgments concerning them.

2478 To avoid rash judgment, everyone should be careful to interpret insofar as possible his neighbor's thoughts, words, and deeds in a favorable way:

Every good Christian ought to be more ready to give a favorable interpretation to another's statement than to condemn it. But if he cannot do so, let him ask how the other understands it. And if the latter understands it badly, let the former correct him with love. If that does not suffice, let the Christian try all suitable ways to bring the other to a correct interpretation so that he may be saved.

2479 Detraction and calumny destroy the reputation and honor of one's neighbor. Honor is the social witness given to human dignity, and everyone enjoys a natural right to the honor of his name and reputation and to respect. Thus, detraction and calumny offend against the virtues of justice and charity.

Detraction is telling the truth about someone's faults to those who do not need to know those faults, or telling those true faults for malicious reasons.

Calumny, called slander and libel in civil law, is lying about someone.

Rash judgment is jumping to negative conclusions about someone.

Concerning your comment at dinner: Since I was not at your dinner, it is hard for me to know for sure how to answer you. The answer depends upon the details.

Is this man actually divorced? or is the divorce not finalized yet?
Is this man a Catholic? If so, has he received an annulment yet?
Was your comment to imply, even tacitly that this man is having sex out of wedlock.

If the man is indeed divorced, and if he is not Catholic (or he is Catholic and has an annulment), then having a girlfriend is not a sin, it is not a fault, and is thus not detraction.

But, there is another aspect. Was this Gossip?

Gossip can include many things other than calumny, rash judgment (and rumors), and detraction. It is also the talking about personal and intimate facts about others, mentioned in a way that is not needed, idle conversation, or not germane to the conversation.

Was this information necessary to mention? I cannot answer that.  On this level, it is a fine line between appropriate conversation and gossip. If the conversation was of the type that people were wondering what happened to an old friend, then to mention that he is divorced and has a new girlfriend may not be gossip, but then it might. It all depends on the context of the conversation and the motivation of those in the conversation.

But, in terms of the sin of detraction, the above analysis applies.

God Bless,
Bro. Ignatius Mary