Dear Susi:

Jesus said (Matthew 7:7-11):

"Ask, and it will be given you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For every one who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened. Or what man of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!"

Jesus also said,  "And whatever you ask in prayer, you will receive, if you have faith" (Matthew 21:22).

St. James explains a little further, "You do not have, because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly" (James 4:2b-3)

God hears and answers all prayers. Sometimes his answers are not what we want. He can answer a prayer with, for example a  "yes", or with "no", or "maybe", or with "not in your best interest", or "I can't". Let us take each of these possibilities in turn:

1. Yes: God may grant the prayer outright. What was asked for we receive.
   
   
2. No: God may deny the prayer outright because it is inappropriate, we have asked wrongly. For example, God will say no to prayers where we ask for revenge, or that someone will be hurt, or to get an "A" on a test without studying, or to be a ballet dancer with one weighs 400 pounds with two left feet, or pray for anything that is contrary to Natural Law, Divine Law, or Church Law.
   
   
3. Maybe: God may grant a prayer upon certain conditions. There are many such conditional situations in the Bible. If we do something, God will grant the prayer if it is in our best interest. These conditions are usually recognized by the word "if". For example, in John 15:7  Jesus tells us, "If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you will, and it shall be done for you." Another example is in 1 John 1:9, in which St. John gives the promise of God,  "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just, and will forgive our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness." Another possibility is that God want you to learn something first before granting the prayer. This may be learning perseverance, patience, humility, abandonment to God's will, etc.
   
   
4. Not in your best interest: There is an example of this with St. Paul and the thorn in his side. St. Paul asked God three times to remove the thorns (which were demons harassing him). God said no three times because it was in the best interest of St. Paul to accept the harassment as a way to keep him humble.
   
   
5. I can't: What is meant by God not able to answer the prayer positively is that God will never intrude upon our free will. If our prayer requires the actions of another person to be answered, that other person is going to have to decide to do whatever has to be done to fulfill the prayer. God will not force him to do it. An example of this is a prayer  a woman prays that a particular man fall in love with her. God cannot guarantee that and certainly will not force the man to fall in love with her. Besides, this sort of prayer smacks of prayer-magick, a love spell.

I have no idea what you are praying for, but generally speaking God's response usually falls into one of the five categories above.

We should persevere in prayer. Prayers may not be granted right away. If God's answer #3 above you may need to fulfill your part first. If God's answer is #5, then you may have to wait until the person involved chooses to do that is necessary to fulfill the prayer (if ever). And, of course we must always accept a "no" answer.

Ask your Heavenly Father, tell Him your needs. Do not stop in that. But, I would suggest that if you are tempted to anger because your prayers are not answered in the way you wish, then that itself can be a stumblingblock against your prayers. You need to learn abandonment and resignation to God will, whatever that will may be.

I suggest you read and pray the prayers in a pamphlet we have called Christian Resignation as a Prerequisite to Freedom (pdf file).

A prayer for the salvation of others or for a loved-one to return to Christ and His Church, for example, and other similar prayers that are open ended, that is, may continue until it is fulfilled, a person can and should persevere in prayer for their whole lives or until the prayer is fulfilled.  That is what St. Monica did with her son, St. Augustine.

If we are praying for a specific job, for example, we may not get that job. We must be open to what God does do for us. He may lead us to a different job. We must accept what comes.

Once I helped this fella prepare his resume for an internship in the Clinton Whitehouse. He got the internship. Afterwards, he came back home and really wanted to get this particular job. He didn't get it. He was despondent, even suicidal. I told him that his resume was excellent, especially with the White House internship, and that he shouldn't have a problem getting some other position. I talked with him for a couple hours. He left and I did not hear from him for a long time.

Then one day he comes by. He told me that my talk saved his life, and that he did indeed get another position that was just as good as the one he originally wanted.

He may have prayed hard for one job, but God gave him another. In the long run the job he got was the better one.

We need to keep our eyes open for the doors that God may open or shut. Sometimes the answer to our prayers is right in front of us, but because it is not what we expected we do not notice it.

God Bless,
Bro. Ignatius Mary