Dear Bree:

I am impressed at your devotion and desire to remain a loyal Catholic. The true test of faith, however, is not made when things are going well as we would have them go. The true test of faith is found in our faithfulness in the face of trials and tribulations and in the face of things not going as we would like even in the face of perceived injustice.

Many people are born with birth defects. There is nothing "fair" or "just" about such defects. God does not create anyone with birth defects, rather these things happen because we live in a fallen world.

Birth defects can be caused by such things as:

1) the mother consuming drugs and alcohol;

2) the mother being exposed to substances that cause harm to the unborn baby;

3) genetic causes;

4) causes perpetrated by others (such as a man beating up the mother);

5) accidents.

Except for #1 all these causes can be out of the control of the mother and thus she is not at fault.

In all cases the baby, of course, is not at fault for any birth defects he suffers. There is no "fairness" for the baby in having these defects, but it is life as we know it that such things happen. The lack of fault on anyone's part does not change the ontological reality of the consequences of the birth defect.

For example, if a person is born without a leg that person will never be able to be a professional ballet dancer. Is that fair? No. But is that the reality? Yes. The person can be fitted with a high-tech prosthetic device that allows him to live relatively normal, but to be a professional ballet dancer is not likely. He must live with that reality.

In like manner, and closer to the situation under discussion, if a person is born with a birth defect of the genitals that is such that the person cannot ever engage in sexual intercourse, then that person cannot be married under the laws of God and the Church.

The purpose of sex in Marriage is twofold: 1) to have and raise children; 2) to bond the couple together in love.

For a permanently and perpetually impotent person neither of these purposes of the marital embrace is possible. Those who are sterile can still get married because at least they can still engage in sexual intercourse and fulfill the second of the two criteria. But a permanently impotent person cannot fulfill either of the two criteria and this cannot be validly married in the eyes of God and the Church.

This is the reality that homosexuals must face, for example. Whether homosexuality is congenital or acquired the bottomline is that homosexual relationships cannot fulfill the purposes of marriage, in addition to being unnatural and a moral evil. Thus those persons who are homosexual are called by God to live chaste and celibate lives. Is this fair? No. But this is the reality.

God does not change the universe or moral law because someone is disabled. The disabled person must, rather, give himself to God, live a moral life, and accept his lot with humility knowing that God will reward him in many other ways for his devotion and obedience to that moral law.

This same reality is what faces most, if not all, persons who have the so-called "sex change operation". Matters must be taken on a case-by-case basis, but in general those persons who have had Gender Reassignment Surgery may not be validly married since the ontological fact of them being truly male or female is not firmly established. In order to be married the Church must KNOW, not suppose, that the couple are truly man and woman.

The Conference of Bishops in England and Wales, responding to legislation before the English Parliament issued this statement that summarizes this issue in the Church:

From the perspective of Catholic teaching, marriage can only be between a man and a woman. And in the present state of uncertain knowledge in which there is no clear biological basis for saying otherwise, the gender of a transsexual person is that which they have when they are born, and gender reassignment surgery must therefore be seen as morally questionable.  There is no convincing evidence that a gender can really be changed or acquired, much less chosen. Furthermore, many Christians would hold on theological grounds that gender is given before birth and cannot be changed. For both these reasons  those who receive gender (reassignment surgery) ... would not be able to marry in a Catholic church in their acquired gender.  For the same reason, a transsexual person who came forward in their acquired gender for ordination to the Catholic priesthood would not be able to be ordained.

The news agency, Catholic News Service reported on a recent document issued by the Holy See on this topic. Here are some excerpts:

Vatican Says Sex Change Operation Does Not Change a Person's Gender

by John Norton Catholic News Service
1/14/2003

[VATICAN CITY (CNS)] - After years of study, the Vatican's doctrinal congregation has sent church leaders a confidential document concluding that "sex-change" procedures do not change a person's gender in the eyes of the church.

Consequently, the document instructs bishops never to alter the sex listed in parish baptismal records and says Catholics who have undergone "sex-change" procedures are not eligible to marry, be ordained to the priesthood or enter religious life, according to a source familiar with the text.

The document was completed in 2000 and sent "sub secretum" (under secrecy) to the papal representatives in each country to provide guidance on a case-by-case basis to bishops. But when it became clear that many bishops were still unaware of its existence, in 2002 the congregation sent it to the presidents of bishops' conferences as well.

"The key point is that the (transsexual) surgical operation is so superficial and external that it does not change the personality. If the person was male, he remains male. If she was female, she remains female," said the source.

Bishop Wilton D. Gregory of Belleville, Ill., president of the U.S. bishops' conference, sent a brief letter to U.S. bishops in October informing them of the Vatican document and highlighting its instruction not to alter parish baptismal records, except to make a notation in the margin when deemed necessary.

"The altered condition of a member of the faithful under civil law does not change one's canonical condition, which is male or female as determined at the moment of birth," Bishop Gregory wrote.

The Vatican text defines transsexualism as a psychic disorder of those whose genetic makeup and physical characteristics are unambiguously of one sex but who feel that they belong to the opposite sex. In some cases, the urge is so strong that the person undergoes a "sex-change" operation to acquire the opposite sex's external sexual organs. The new organs have no reproductive function.

The Holy See did NOT condemn altogether gender reassignment surgery. It stated that "the procedure could be morally acceptable in certain extreme cases if a medical probability exists that it will "cure" the patient's internal turmoil."

It was noted, however, that recent medical evidence suggested that in the majority of cases "the procedure increases the likelihood of depression and psychic disturbance."

It is interesting to note that the pastoral compassion of the Church affirms that one's psychic turmoil can be so terrible that having a gender reassignment surgery may be acceptable. This pastoral gesture, however, does not change the ontological fact of the actual sex of the person, and it is the actual sex of the person, not their perceived gender or psychic orientation, that determines the validity of the marriage.

For those unfortunate souls who are experiencing this situation, God is calling you to a full and active faith life in the Church, but as a chaste and celibate person (among many other chaste and celibate persons who must accept that unwanted state in life).

The only other thing I can recommend is to go to your bishop and talk to him about it. The Vatican document was a guideline to help bishops deal with these issues on a case-by-case basis.

In otherwords, if it can be proven that you are truly, ontologically, and certainly female, then the bishop may give permission for you to marry. I would contact your bishop as soon as possible.

YOU MUST BE READY, however, to have your request for marriage denied. If denied then you must accept that and offer your sexuality and chastity to God and continue to live a good and faithful Catholic Life. God WILL reward you for your faithfulness.

We will be praying for you.

God Bless,
Bro. Ignatius Mary