Dear Philo:

The primary problem with people accepting the idea "to love as our Lord loves" is that few people, especially in our current culture, understand the meaning of love. True and genuine love is not a feeling, it is not warm fuzzies.

A warm affection, a positive regard, a sexual attraction, an intellectual attraction, a compatibility, a companionship for another person is not the highest form of love -- God's love. One can love another without a warm affection or positive regard, for example. This is because love is a decision of will, not a feeling. Love is a verb, not a noun.

The highest form of love is agape (in Greek). The attributes of this type of love (agape love) are listed in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a:

4 Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; 5 does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; 6 does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 8 Love never fails...

You will notice that there is not a single "feeling" word in that list. Love is a decision of will to do something, it is not a feeling.

This is related to another Greek word, kenoo (the verb form of Kenosis, which means a "self-emptying" of one's own will and receiving within one's self and life God's will; a self-sacrifice.

You can see the relationship of these three things 1) humility; 2) love (agape); 3) self-emptying (self-sacrifice)

All three of these virtues requires setting aside of ego and personal wants in favor of others.

Love is what we practice, how we behave, not how we feel.

For example, if I meet someone whom I really dislike, or even feel disgusted by his very presence, I can still perform an act of love when he becomes homeless and I offer him a meal.

To act out love is not impossible. God commands us to love, He does not command us to do something that is impossible -- that would be cruel and evil.

We can love anyone, no matter who they are, no matter how badly they have hurt us, or matter how disgusting they are. We can do this when we understand that we do not have to have feelings of positive regard or attraction to the person. When the opportunity arises we can, nevertheless, make an act of love by putting aside our pride and its attendant desire for revenge, or envy, or whatever, and do what is right in the sight of God.

We do not always succeed because we are human and humans sin. I will tell you the story of one of my failures.

I was coming out of a grocery store. A man was standing in the parking lot asking for money. Normally, I give the homeless some money if they ask. I did not do that this time.

I went to my car and started to drive out of the parking lot. Just before I reached the street, God placed in my mind the verse from Hebrews 13:2

Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares.

To have this verse come into my mind at this particular moment (never had before and never has since in similar situations) was a message from God I believe.

But, you know what? I ignored it. Even with God telling me that I just snubbed an angel, I kept on going and did not look back. That is a double failure.

Failure is part of the human condition. God knows this and thus gives us the grace of the Sacrament of Confession.

Bottomline: To love others as Christ loves us means to sacrifice one's ego and pride, to be humble, and to do acts of love regardless of feelings.

We can do this, with practice and fortitude.

Peter Kreeft has an article on Love that makes many of the same points I have.

God Bless,
Bro. Ignatius Mary