Dear Miguel:

To deliberately refuse treatment for something that can be treated successfully, and especially for reasons that you do not wish to live with that suffering from a non-terminal condition, is suicide. You have no right to do that and it is a grave sin.

There are situations with proximate terminal disease, such as terminal cancer, where one may refuse treatment, but diabetes and hypertension are not proximate terminal diseases.

But, even in situations of terminal cancer or other proximate disease where it may otherwise be morally licit to refuse treatment, your stated motivation is sinful. It is pure selfishness, immaturity, and hugely prideful and arrogant for you to tell God that you do not want to live the appointed life-span that you are destined to have.

If God has it that you will live into your 90's then you need to praise God and rejoice that you have such a privilege. There is no situation of age, illness/infirmity (mental or physical), or circumstances that is beyond your ability to handle. God promises:

(1 Cor 10:13)  No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your strength, but with the temptation will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.

The temptation to think that you do not wish to live a long life (especially if not healthy) is not beyond your strength to resist. We are all given the grace to be able to resist temptation and to endure its lure.

In addition, God gives us the grace to endure anything, but He may not give us that grace until one nanosecond before it is needed. Many Martyrs experienced this -- fear at the thought of the torture, but when the time actually came they were able to endure it and die in God's friendship.

There was one saint who was, in essence, barbecued to death. Yet, he had the presence of mind to say to his torturers, "I am done on this side, you can turn me over." There is no way this man could have had such humor and presence before it happened. I am sure he had great trepidation at the very thought of what was about to happen to him. But, when the time came, God's grace gave him the ability to endure the torture and death with grace and class.

So to for the rest of us. Whatever befalls us in our lives, God can and will give you the grace to endure it -- assuming we accept that grace.

In your case, you are not in darkness. The Light of Christ is all about you. Instead of wishing your early death, you need to offer your suffering up to Christ, join your suffering with the suffering of Christ on the Cross. While you may not be healed in this life, your act of love to offer your suffer for others may help many other people and help to ensure your own State of Grace and eternal friendship with God.

We will certainly pray that you will accept God's will for your life. I recommend that you read and follow the advice (and this is for all Christians) found in the document, Christian Resignation to the Divine Will.

God Bless,
Bro. Ignatius Mary