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Question Title	Posted By	Question Date
One Flesh...?	Nick	Sunday, August 8, 2010
Question: if a man has sex with another man do they become one flesh? does that mean that the bond between a husband and wife wont be as strong? can the bond be broken? also lately i have been having a lot of homosexual thoughts. i tried so hard not to think of women in a lustful way, did i turn my self gay? please pray for me.
Question Answered by Bro. Ignatius Mary, OLSM Dear Nick: The "one flesh" can only happen between a man and woman married to each other. Any coupling outside of valid marriage is not truly "one flesh", but a perversion. The "one flesh" is also an analogy of the sublime relationship between Christ, the bridegroom, and His Bride, the Church; and an image of our relationship with each other within the Church. A person will not be "one" with the Catholic Church if they are a Satanists or a heretic. They might be coming to Mass, but they are not truly "one" with us. In the same way, a man cannot be "one flesh" with another man. Perverted sex, which all sex outside the marriage bed is, can damage future relationships, but God forgives when we ask Him. Once God forgives the sin is destroyed and does not exist anymore. God says he restores us to righteousness (1 John 1:9). Thus, when we approach marriage we come to marriage as virgins, as-it-were, because our past sexual sins no longer exist (when we confess those sins and are absolved) and we are thus restored to purity (which is what righteousness means) before our God and before our spouse. You cannot "make yourself homosexual" merely by having homosexual* thoughts. Performing homosexual acts is a act of will. One can choose to perform such acts or not. Homosexual lifestyle is chosen, not imposed. Besides, you are not in a state that allows for such a diagnosis of homosexuality. These are obsessive thoughts you are having. Obsessive thoughts, by definition, are a result of damaged psychology and/or brain chemistry. There is no sin in having unwanted thoughts. It is what you do with those thoughts that matters. What you need to do with them is to give them to God. Ask God to take away those thoughts and give you thoughts that are pleasing to the Holy Spirit. But, Nick, you again are obsessing. Please be sure to see a psychiatrist who can give you medications that will help you to stop obsessive thoughts. If you truly want these things to stop, then see a doctor. God Bless, Bro. Ignatius Mary Please do not use the term "gay" as that word means "joyous" and not homosexual. Footer Notes:* This forum is for general questions on the faith. See specific Topic Forums below: Spiritual Warfare, demons, the occult go to our Spiritul Warfare Q&S Forum. Liturgy Questions go to our Liturgy and Liturgical Law Q&A Forum Liturgy of the Hours (Divine Office) Questions go to our Divine Office Q&A Forum Defenfing the Faith Questions go to our Defending the Faith Q&A Forum Church History Questions go to our Church History Q&A Forum

Question Title

Posted By

Question Date

One Flesh...?

Nick

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Question:

if a man has sex with another man do they become one flesh? does that mean that the bond between a husband and wife wont be as strong? can the bond be broken?

also lately i have been having a lot of homosexual thoughts. i tried so hard not to think of women in a lustful way, did i turn my self gay?

please pray for me.

Question Answered by Bro. Ignatius Mary, OLSM

Dear Nick:

The "one flesh" can only happen between a man and woman married to each other. Any coupling outside of valid marriage is not truly "one flesh", but a perversion. The "one flesh" is also an analogy of the sublime relationship between Christ, the bridegroom, and His Bride, the Church; and an image of our relationship with each other within the Church.

A person will not be "one" with the Catholic Church if they are a Satanists or a heretic. They might be coming to Mass, but they are not truly "one" with us. In the same way, a man cannot be "one flesh" with another man.

Perverted sex, which all sex outside the marriage bed is, can damage future relationships, but God forgives when we ask Him. Once God forgives the sin is destroyed and does not exist anymore. God says he restores us to righteousness (1 John 1:9). Thus, when we approach marriage we come to marriage as virgins, as-it-were, because our past sexual sins no longer exist (when we confess those sins and are absolved) and we are thus restored to purity (which is what righteousness means) before our God and before our spouse.

You cannot "make yourself homosexual" merely by having homosexual* thoughts. Performing homosexual acts is a act of will. One can choose to perform such acts or not. Homosexual lifestyle is chosen, not imposed. Besides, you are not in a state that allows for such a diagnosis of homosexuality. These are obsessive thoughts you are having. Obsessive thoughts, by definition, are a result of damaged psychology and/or brain chemistry.

There is no sin in having unwanted thoughts. It is what you do with those thoughts that matters. What you need to do with them is to give them to God. Ask God to take away those thoughts and give you thoughts that are pleasing to the Holy Spirit.

But, Nick, you again are obsessing. Please be sure to see a psychiatrist who can give you medications that will help you to stop obsessive thoughts. If you truly want these things to stop, then see a doctor.

God Bless,
Bro. Ignatius Mary

*Please do not use the term "gay" as that word means "joyous" and not homosexual.

Footer Notes: This forum is for general questions on the faith. See specific Topic Forums below:
Spiritual Warfare, demons, the occult go to our Spiritul Warfare Q&S Forum.
Liturgy Questions go to our Liturgy and Liturgical Law Q&A Forum
Liturgy of the Hours (Divine Office) Questions go to our Divine Office Q&A Forum
Defenfing the Faith Questions go to our Defending the Faith Q&A Forum
Church History Questions go to our Church History Q&A Forum