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Question Title	Posted By	Question Date
How can things change?	Jess	Sunday, July 18, 2010
Question: Hi Brother Ignatius, I was raised Catholic for the sake of culture and tradition rather than out of faith but about 2 years ago I truly repented and starting living a truly Catholic life. Everything was wonderful I felt the holy spirit transform me and my relationship with God was growing. My boyfriend was living out of the country at that time sooo i was receiving holy communion in a state of grace. I knew that fornication was a mortal sin so i was sort of not wanting him to come back to the states because I was terrified of falling into sin. I prayed over the situation and hoped for some "divine intervention". After he came I explained to him that I wanted to wait for marriage. At first he acted as if he understood but soon he started to make me feel like I was making him suffer for my own selfish reasons, sooo eventually I gave-in, thinking that God would understand. After this my relationship with God has never been the same, little by little I've stopped prayer, I've felt doubt, even depression. I still live in this sin. For some reason I feel like I can't say no to him, I feel that I would make him suffer, that I'm being unfair or selfish or I fear that he will leave me. I desire so much to be in full communion with God that sometimes I cry in church when I see everyone taking communion and receiving this wonderful gift that my soul needs so badly. I don't know what to do. I want to restore my relationship with God but I just feel that I don't have the strength to stand-up for what I believe in even I feel hopeless. Please help. pray for me. I feel that I'm losing God and that I will eventually lose my faith which I don't want but I just have sooo many fears. P.S Incase you're wondering " why doesn't she just get married?" well I would've done that in a heart beat if I could but because of some personal issue that I don't wish to mention here. I literally can not marry right now.
Question Answered by Bro. Ignatius Mary, OLSM Dear Jess: The solution to your problem is as simple as 1+1=2. STOP HAVING SEX. Say no to him. If he will not respect that then he does not love you. For him to say that he is "suffering" is a bunch of bull dung. What a manipulative and selfish cad he is. He is the one being selfish. Either stop this fornication or you risk your soul to hell. No man is worth you risking your soul to hell. If the guy will not respect you, then get rid of him. Also, there is no such thing as an inability to say no to him. That is just not the case. God promises that: No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your strength, but with the temptation will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it. This is God's promise. No temptation, including your temptation to fornication, is so great that you cannot resist it. God says so and God is not a liar. God always provides a way of escape from temptation. You know you way of escape. Say "no". If he boohoos and cries about it, and calls you names and throws out guilt trips, then show him the door along with a kick in the rear and a good riddens. Do not place yourself in the position of calling God a liar. Do not place yourself in the position of losing God's friendship. Do not place yourself in the position of risking your soul to hell. This guy does not love you and it will be a huge mistake to continue a relationship with him, let alone to marry him. Have faith in God. God will lead you to a good and holy man who respects and loves you. Do not settle for anything less. God Bless, Bro. Ignatius Mary Footer Notes: This forum is for general questions on the faith. See specific Topic Forums below: Spiritual Warfare, demons, the occult go to our Spiritul Warfare Q&S Forum. Liturgy Questions go to our Liturgy and Liturgical Law Q&A Forum Liturgy of the Hours (Divine Office) Questions go to our Divine Office Q&A Forum Defenfing the Faith Questions go to our Defending the Faith Q&A Forum Church History Questions go to our Church History Q&A Forum

Question Title

Posted By

Question Date

How can things change?

Jess

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Question:

Hi Brother Ignatius,
I was raised Catholic for the sake of culture and tradition rather than out of faith but about 2 years ago I truly repented and starting living a truly Catholic life. Everything was wonderful I felt the holy spirit transform me and my relationship with God was growing.

My boyfriend was living out of the country at that time sooo i was receiving holy communion in a state of grace. I knew that fornication was a mortal sin so i was sort of not wanting him to come back to the states because I was terrified of falling into sin. I prayed over the situation and hoped for some "divine intervention".

After he came I explained to him that I wanted to wait for marriage. At first he acted as if he understood but soon he started to make me feel like I was making him suffer for my own selfish reasons, sooo eventually I gave-in, thinking that God would understand. After this my relationship with God has never been the same, little by little I've stopped prayer, I've felt doubt, even depression. I still live in this sin.

For some reason I feel like I can't say no to him, I feel that I would make him suffer, that I'm being unfair or selfish or I fear that he will leave me. I desire so much to be in full communion with God that sometimes I cry in church when I see everyone taking communion and receiving this wonderful gift that my soul needs so badly.

I don't know what to do. I want to restore my relationship with God but I just feel that I don't have the strength to stand-up for what I believe in even I feel hopeless. Please help. pray for me. I feel that I'm losing God and that I will eventually lose my faith which I don't want but I just have sooo many fears.

P.S Incase you're wondering " why doesn't she just get married?" well I would've done that in a heart beat if I could but because of some personal issue that I don't wish to mention here. I literally can not marry right now.

Question Answered by Bro. Ignatius Mary, OLSM

Dear Jess:

The solution to your problem is as simple as 1+1=2. STOP HAVING SEX. Say no to him. If he will not respect that then he does not love you.

For him to say that he is "suffering" is a bunch of bull dung. What a manipulative and selfish cad he is. He is the one being selfish.

Either stop this fornication or you risk your soul to hell. No man is worth you risking your soul to hell. If the guy will not respect you, then get rid of him.

Also, there is no such thing as an inability to say no to him. That is just not the case. God promises that:

No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your strength, but with the temptation will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.

This is God's promise. No temptation, including your temptation to fornication, is so great that you cannot resist it. God says so and God is not a liar. God always provides a way of escape from temptation.

You know you way of escape. Say "no". If he boohoos and cries about it, and calls you names and throws out guilt trips, then show him the door along with a kick in the rear and a good riddens.

Do not place yourself in the position of calling God a liar.

Do not place yourself in the position of losing God's friendship.

Do not place yourself in the position of risking your soul to hell.

This guy does not love you and it will be a huge mistake to continue a relationship with him, let alone to marry him. Have faith in God. God will lead you to a good and holy man who respects and loves you. Do not settle for anything less.

God Bless,
Bro. Ignatius Mary

Footer Notes: This forum is for general questions on the faith. See specific Topic Forums below:
Spiritual Warfare, demons, the occult go to our Spiritul Warfare Q&S Forum.
Liturgy Questions go to our Liturgy and Liturgical Law Q&A Forum
Liturgy of the Hours (Divine Office) Questions go to our Divine Office Q&A Forum
Defenfing the Faith Questions go to our Defending the Faith Q&A Forum
Church History Questions go to our Church History Q&A Forum