ear P.J.:

Many people struggle over a calling to a vocation, but this is not a complex thing. An acquaintance of mine, Father Anthony, a Carmelite priest, answered the question this way:

There is no mystery to find your calling. You walk into a room and see three chairs. One Chair is the priestly or religious life, the second chair is the married life, and the third is the single life. JUST SIT IN ONE.

People fail to "just sit in one" of the chairs because they are afraid to make a mistake. Such fear comes from pride and not faith. Most of the lessons we learn in life come from mistakes we have made. Mistakes are opportunities for God to mold us into what we will eventually become. Do not be afraid to make a mistake. Do not be afraid that you sit in the wrong chair.

Before coming into the room each person has many clues to what direction to go (which chair to sit in). What is the still small voice within you tell you? What do other people suggest to you? Where are circumstances leading you?

When I was 16 I felt like I was being called to the ministry. Most everyone around me said I ought to be a preacher. I finally accepted that call in 1975 and was ordained (Baptist) in 1979.

I also felt called to counsel people. People affirmed that too saying I ought to do so. One time I went to the hair dresser. The girl cutting my hair, out of the blue, asked if I were a counselor. I had said nothing but "hi" to her and how i wanted my hair cut. This really surprised me. I told her "yes" and she then began telling me her marital troubles. So I did marriage counseling while sitting in the barber chair and paid her $35 for the privilege.

A more dramatic indicator of calling in my life was when God called me to do Deliverance work in 1987. Previously, in 1981, I had fallen away from the faith and been involved in the occult. This happened primarily because I tried to go up against the devil without God's permission.

I felt called by God to do spiritual warfare in 1979, but I had not gotten the "green light" sort-to-speak, nothing was happening to actually do spiritual warfare. So I got impatient and ventured out into the ghost busting and deliverance world without God's green light. To confront the devil without God's permission will get you slammed down hard by the devil.

I ended up abandoning the faith, doing psychic experiments on myself, and attempting suicide (saved by a miracle). Then one day something really dramatic happened.

One morning in 1985 I woke up, went to the bathroom to brush my teeth, looked into the mirror into horror. I could not see my eyes. In place of my eyeballs were black holes. I say black because that is the only English word I can think of to describe it, other than maybe, abyss.

This got my attention. Standing there in front of the mirror I said to myself, "This must stop", that is my occult nonsense and abandoning God must stop. At that moment I became the Prodigal Son coming home. By 1987 I was back fully to the faith (Protestant).

In the summer of 1987 I began to feel this very strong urge to go into spiritual warfare. I was frighten by the idea. The last time I tried it I nearly lost my life and I did lose my soul.

So, I looked up the heavens and I said to God, "Forget You. I am not going to do this." I am not kidding, that is what I said.

The next day a couple and the wife's sister moved into the apartment next door to mine. The sister knocked on my door. I do not remember how I knew this, perhaps by the Gift of Discernment, but she was demonized.

 God was saying, "Okay, you are going to say no to me? I will put a hurting and wounded person on your doorstep and see what you will do."

The phrase comes to mind, "I'll make you an offer you cannot refuse."

What was I suppose to do? Slam the door in this poor girl's face? I knew how to help her, so how could I ignore her?

God did not force me to become a deliverance counselor, but he did make it clear what his desire for me was. I could have still refused and told the girl to go away, but what kind of Christian would I be if I did that.

This girl became my first professional case as a deliverance counselor.

These are just examples. God calls people in different ways, through different situations, and according to the personalties of the person.

Take the clues you have and just sit in one of the chairs.

Sitting in any of the three chairs does not obligate one to pursue that vocation. Commitment is not made overnight.

In the priesthood and religious life one has up to eight years to decide if God is really calling him. If not the person can sit in one of the other chairs. No big deal.

In the marriage chair, one has to first date and find a person who is a potential marriage partner. Then there is courtship and some time before engagement, and time between engagement and marriage. This is plenty of time to change one's mind and sit in another chair. No big deal.

In the single life chair, one lives their life as a single person. If one changes their mind, they can sit in one of the other chairs. No big deal.

The point is that you have to start somewhere, anywhere you feel lead to. If you pick the wrong chair God will lead you to another chair. But, God cannot lead you anywhere if you are not moving forward.

Our lives are like a ship. We navigate the waters of this world until we reach our final port-of-call. We can get lost at sea sometimes, follow the wrong current, or let the prevailing winds lead us to whatever. The ship, however, can change course. The helmsman turns the rudder according to the Captain's orders, and the ship changes course.  God is the Captain and we are the helmsman of our own ship, which is our life.

The problem is that if God orders a course correction and the helmsmen (us) change the position of the rudder to cause the ship to change course nothing will happen unless the ship is moving through the water. A rudder cannot change the course of a ship dead in the water.

What does this mean? It means that we must choose some vocation, any vocation, and then begin doing what is required to pursue that vocation. In moving in a direction, any direction, God can lead us into His waters through course corrections. 

As for somehow committing to one vocation when God may have originally intended another vocation for us? Roman 8:28 says: "We know that in everything God works for good with those who love him, who are called according to his purpose."

This verse tells us that even when we make a mess of our lives God will make all things good. That is, He will bring goodness from it.

I know several men who felt called to the priesthood. They were turned away because they were orthodox (not liberal enough). They ended up getting married instead.  God may have called them to the priesthood, but the Diocese did not cooperate with God's call for them. Thus, God will bring a blessing from their marriage.

God will also bring goodness out of anything, even out of evil, if we let Him. The Law of Consequences says that we must accept the consequences of our actions. If we get married, when we should have been in religious life, then we must accept the consequences of that decision. Too late now. Instead, we must accept our state in life and allow God to make something good out of the situation. Allow God to make sweet lemonade from the lemons we have created in our lives.

The same goes for someone who becomes a priest, when God may have originally wished the man to get married. The priest must accept the consequences of his decision and forgo marriage. God will bless him for it.

But, we are speaking of things we cannot know. We should not be trying to second-guess God. That is a form of blasphemy. When you speak of these things in the abstract, rather than a doubt in a person's conscience, you are risking this blasphemy. If the priest has no doubts about his calling, and the Church confirms his calling, then there are no doubts -- God has called him. What if's are both psychological and spiritually damaging.

God Bless,
Bro. Ignatius Mary