Dear P.J.:

I would recommend you read the Theology of the Body. This website has many resources concerning the Theology of the Body.

Question: How does this affect the unitive dimension of future marriage?

It doesn't affect the unitive dimension of a future marriage. The Sacraments of Confession, the Sacrament of Eucharist, and the Sacrament of Marriage all provide healing and renewal on the spiritual level.

The lack of chastity before marriage also damages the psychological aspect of man. This too can be healed, but can be more difficult depending on the person. Such things as pride and inordinate jealously, both sins, can impede the healing of the person's psychology.

Once healed, there may be scar tissue, but this does not impede the unity with one's future spouse. All of us have the scars of life. The scars do not impede our ability to live a Christ-life.

Question: Might there be something to this "scar tissue" problem so prevelant in our perverted fornication culture today that might impede the essential unitive dimension of marriage from operating properly?

The problem is not the scar tissue. The problem is the person's emotional maturity and understanding of the Sacrament of Marriage. If one has a lot of scar tissue, meaning that one has an extensive fornication history, he obviously does not understand sexuality and his thought process is skewed.

Unless the person grows up and matures in his understanding of sexuality, and fully understands the Sacrament of Marriage, then failure of the marriage is great.

Collectively our society is very immature in general and specifically immature concerning sexuality. In fact, our culture here is the United States is perhaps the most immature culture in the world across the board.

I believe that most of the divorces stem from ignorance about the nature of marriage and especially immaturity and selfishness.

The many annulments in this country are generally appropriate. The immaturity of the couple (regardless of previous sexual experience) is one of the primary reasons for annulments. Given our culture it is not surprising the number of annulments.

The real problem is not the number of annulments, but whether or not a couple should be married in the first place. Much of the time, in pre-cana counseling, the priest can discern that the couple should not get married. This puts him in a dilemma. If he refuses to marry them, which would be the appropriate thing to do, the couple will whine like babies and get married anyway outside the Church and thereby risking their souls to hell.

Unfortunately, we live in an age of rebellion and disobedience. In times past it was more likely that if the parish priest said "no" to a couple, the couple would not get married. Those days are totally gone.

If the priest goes ahead an marries the couple there is a great risk of failure of the marriage (and all the complications that go with that), but the couple may remain in the Church. There is a risk, however, that the couple will leave the Church anyway, especially if the Church denies an annulment. There is also a risk that an immature couple will involve themselves in other sins (that may lead up to the divorce) that will separate them from the Church.

Thus, the risk is great. I am not a priest, but if I were, I would not marry a couple I thought were not ready for marriage. But, then again, I am not sitting in that parish priest's chair.

Question: And might this alone be cause for an annulment? I know the Church hasn't gone here yet, but doesn't it seem like a reasonable hypothethis?

No, fornication (sex before marriage), no matter how many times committed, is not grounds for an annulment and it shouldn't be. Such an idea is not a reasonable hypothesis. More, such an idea is highly scrupulous and contrary to the theology of forgiveness and healing.

To begin with, the couple ought to know each other's sexual history. The only way an annulment can be pursued because of a spouse's pre-marriage sexual history is if that spouse claimed to be virginal, or only had a few liaisons, when in fact he has an extensive history. Then there may be a possibility of fraud (misrepresentation to the spouse). This, however, is an issue of misrepresentation and fraud, not the sexual history in itself.

P.J. I think you are too obsessed over these issues. You are straining a gnats. I would suggest you talk to someone about obessive-compulsive tendencies.

Beware of what Jesus said: "Woe to you teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You give a tenth of your spices -- mint, dill and cummin. But you have neglected the more important matters of the law -- justice, mercy and faithfulness. You should have practiced the latter, without neglecting the former. You blind guides! You strain out a gnat but swallow a camel" (Matthew 23:23,24)

This passage does not apply literally, but the underlying lesson in this passage is that scrupulosity causes us to focus on the minusha instead of the context. This leads us into wrong conclusions. In other words we can get so close to the tree that we not only miss the forest, but we cannot see the tree.

God Bless,
Bro. Ignatius Mary