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Question Title	Posted By	Question Date
Scruples	Renee	Saturday, May 22, 2010
Question: In my late teens and early twenties, I was away from the church. When I was about 22 (I am 42 now), I decided that I wanted to come back to the Church, so I went to confession. There was one sin in particular, a sexual sin, that I was terrified to confess. I went to confession and when I got to that sin, I hesitated. I just did not know how to confess it. The priest, thinking I was done, gave me absolution. This bothered me, so I went to confession to another priest. This time I confessed it. Ever since then, however, I keep thinking that I didn't confess it correctly - that I didn't correcly identify the kind of sin - and if I confess it again, I would not be trusting in the Sacrament. I cannot remember what I actually told the priest. A couple of years later, I went to another priest and told him what I have just written here. He asked me if my intention was to confess that particular sin. I answered yes. He told me not to worry about it and that the sin has been forgiven. A couple of years later, my husband and I moved to Birmingham, AL area. We spent a lot of time praying at EWTN and my husband began RCIA. At one point, I began feeling like I should not go to communion, even after having gone to confession. I spoke to a priest about this, who told me that it was a temptation and that I should go. I obeyed the priest and went to Communion. I was feeled with peace and happiness and felt that God was confirming what the priest had said. Every now and then, however, I still suffer terrible fears about that sexual sin. I still feel like I may not have confessed in properly and at the same time, I cannot reconfess it. What can I do to move beyond this? Please help.
Question Answered by Bro. Ignatius Mary, OLSM Dear Renee: Your first confession where you withheld this sin made that confession invalid, thus you did need to re-confess your sins. In the second confession you said you confessed it. If you did that, and did not hold back any other sins, then you are absolved of the sins and can forget about them. As for your fear that your "didn't correctly identify the kind of sin - and if I confess it again, I would not be trusting in the Sacrament" since you have discussed this with a confessor -- twice -- who said the sin has been forgiven and not to worry about it why are you worrying about it? Do you think that these priests lied to you? Or do you think that God is lying when he says (1 John 1:9) "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just, and will forgive our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness." The Church requires that we identify our sin by kind and number. The details are not needed. If this troubles you so much then confess the specifics. While this is not needed for absolution, it may be needed psychologically for your peace of mind. I might suggest a General Confession, which is a review of your life's journey. In doing a General Confession, which I think everyone ought to do in their 40s or 50s, you will confess sins that are already absolved, but the purpose here is to reflect upon your life. St. Francis de Sales says: "A general confession is for the majority of Christians a necessary means of salvation. It gives us a more complete knowledge of ourselves; it fills us with a wholesome shame at the sight of our sins; it relieves our mind of much anxiety and gives peace to our conscience; it excites in us good resolutions; it shows us God's wonderful patience and mercy towards us; it enables our confessor to direct us more safely; and, finally, it so dilates our heart, that we are ever after able to make our confession with greater confidence." Once this done, then put all your sins behind you. There is a story told of a woman (who later became a saint, but I do not remember who it was) who pestered her pastor about have visitations from Jesus. The pastor was skeptical and told the woman that the next time she saw Jesus to ask him what was his last mortal sin. The woman did not want to know her pastor's mortal sins, but she agreed. A couple weeks later the woman was back in the pastor's office. The pastor asked her how Jesus answered the question. The woman told the pastor that Jesus said, "I do not remember." It was then the pastor knew that the woman was really seeing Jesus. God does not remember your sin, why do you? By remember, we of course are not talking about forgetting the sin from your memory, but letting go of it. Do not let the devil rob you have the wonderful grace of absolution and forgiveness. Let go of this and get on with your life. Perhaps some of the prayers in our Spiritual Warfare Prayer Catalog will help, such as the Prayer to Control Thoughts that you can pray whenever you have these thoughts. If needed you may need to rebuke the spirit of doubt and ask for a spirit of peace. We have a Prayer to Rebuke Particular Spirits that can be useful for this. Your sin has been forgiven. God is not a liar. When we are faithful to confess, He forgives. You have confessed it. Two priests have confirmed this for you. Let it go. We will pray for you. God Bless, Bro. Ignatius Mary Footer Notes: This forum is for general questions on the faith. See specific Topic Forums below: Spiritual Warfare, demons, the occult go to our Spiritul Warfare Q&S Forum. Liturgy Questions go to our Liturgy and Liturgical Law Q&A Forum Liturgy of the Hours (Divine Office) Questions go to our Divine Office Q&A Forum Defenfing the Faith Questions go to our Defending the Faith Q&A Forum Church History Questions go to our Church History Q&A Forum

Question Title

Posted By

Question Date

Scruples

Renee

Saturday, May 22, 2010

Question:

In my late teens and early twenties, I was away from the church. When I was about 22 (I am 42 now), I decided that I wanted to come back to the Church, so I went to confession. There was one sin in particular, a sexual sin, that I was terrified to confess. I went to confession and when I got to that sin, I hesitated. I just did not know how to confess it. The priest, thinking I was done, gave me absolution. This bothered me, so I went to confession to another priest. This time I confessed it. Ever since then, however, I keep thinking that I didn't confess it correctly - that I didn't correcly identify the kind of sin - and if I confess it again, I would not be trusting in the Sacrament. I cannot remember what I actually told the priest. A couple of years later, I went to another priest and told him what I have just written here. He asked me if my intention was to confess that particular sin. I answered yes. He told me not to worry about it and that the sin has been forgiven.

A couple of years later, my husband and I moved to Birmingham, AL area. We spent a lot of time praying at EWTN and my husband began RCIA. At one point, I began feeling like I should not go to communion, even after having gone to confession. I spoke to a priest about this, who told me that it was a temptation and that I should go. I obeyed the priest and went to Communion. I was feeled with peace and happiness and felt that God was confirming what the priest had said.

Every now and then, however, I still suffer terrible fears about that sexual sin. I still feel like I may not have confessed in properly and at the same time, I cannot reconfess it.

What can I do to move beyond this? Please help.

Question Answered by Bro. Ignatius Mary, OLSM

Dear Renee:

Your first confession where you withheld this sin made that confession invalid, thus you did need to re-confess your sins. In the second confession you said you confessed it. If you did that, and did not hold back any other sins, then you are absolved of the sins and can forget about them.

As for your fear that your "didn't correctly identify the kind of sin - and if I confess it again, I would not be trusting in the Sacrament" since you have discussed this with a confessor -- twice -- who said the sin has been forgiven and not to worry about it why are you worrying about it? Do you think that these priests lied to you? Or do you think that God is lying when he says (1 John 1:9) "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just, and will forgive our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness."

The Church requires that we identify our sin by kind and number. The details are not needed. If this troubles you so much then confess the specifics. While this is not needed for absolution, it may be needed psychologically for your peace of mind.

I might suggest a General Confession, which is a review of your life's journey. In doing a General Confession, which I think everyone ought to do in their 40s or 50s, you will confess sins that are already absolved, but the purpose here is to reflect upon your life.

St. Francis de Sales says:

"A general confession is for the majority of Christians a necessary means of salvation. It gives us a more complete knowledge of ourselves; it fills us with a wholesome shame at the sight of our sins; it relieves our mind of much anxiety and gives peace to our conscience; it excites in us good resolutions; it shows us God's wonderful patience and mercy towards us; it enables our confessor to direct us more safely; and, finally, it so dilates our heart, that we are ever after able to make our confession with greater confidence."

Once this done, then put all your sins behind you.

There is a story told of a woman (who later became a saint, but I do not remember who it was) who pestered her pastor about have visitations from Jesus. The pastor was skeptical and told the woman that the next time she saw Jesus to ask him what was his last mortal sin.

The woman did not want to know her pastor's mortal sins, but she agreed.

A couple weeks later the woman was back in the pastor's office. The pastor asked her how Jesus answered the question.

The woman told the pastor that Jesus said, "I do not remember."

It was then the pastor knew that the woman was really seeing Jesus.

God does not remember your sin, why do you? By remember, we of course are not talking about forgetting the sin from your memory, but letting go of it.

Do not let the devil rob you have the wonderful grace of absolution and forgiveness. Let go of this and get on with your life.

Perhaps some of the prayers in our Spiritual Warfare Prayer Catalog will help, such as the Prayer to Control Thoughts that you can pray whenever you have these thoughts. If needed you may need to rebuke the spirit of doubt and ask for a spirit of peace. We have a Prayer to Rebuke Particular Spirits that can be useful for this.

Your sin has been forgiven. God is not a liar. When we are faithful to confess, He forgives. You have confessed it. Two priests have confirmed this for you. Let it go.

We will pray for you.

God Bless,
Bro. Ignatius Mary

Footer Notes: This forum is for general questions on the faith. See specific Topic Forums below:
Spiritual Warfare, demons, the occult go to our Spiritul Warfare Q&S Forum.
Liturgy Questions go to our Liturgy and Liturgical Law Q&A Forum
Liturgy of the Hours (Divine Office) Questions go to our Divine Office Q&A Forum
Defenfing the Faith Questions go to our Defending the Faith Q&A Forum
Church History Questions go to our Church History Q&A Forum