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WARNING!! This question and answer is of a mature nature. Parental discretion is advised.

Dear John:

No need to apologize for the question. I have had every possible question on sexual matters asked of me over the years and often in minute detail. There is frankly little to nothing I have not been asked before.

I applaud you for asking the question. It shows a desire to do the right thing. We live in an age where doing the right thing seems to have little interest.

The Church teaches that in Confession we are to confess our grave sins in "kind and number." Thus, the details are not needed, unless the Priest asks specific questions.

I am reminded of a story told by a priest in his homily:

There was a man who came to confession. He said, "Father, bless me for I have sinned. I was uncharitable to my wife three times, I lied once to my uncle, and I stole a rope."

The following week the man came to confession and said, "Father, bless me for I have sinned. I thought lustfully twice toward my neighbor, I gossiped four times, and I stole a rope."

The third week the man came to confession and said, "Father, bless me for I have sinned. I masturbated three times, I stole a rope..."

The priest stopped him and asked, "What is going on with this rope?"

The man said, "There was a cow attached."

While we are required to only confess kind and number, we need to make sure that what we confess is accurate and complete. In this story, the issue was not the rather trivial sin of stealing a rope, it was the much more serious sin of stealing a cow.

What you did was a form of masturbation, thus masturbation is the minimum that you need to confess, along with how many times you did it.

On the other, since the form of masturbation you engaged in is "non-standard", if I may characterize it what way, you may want to consider mentioning the method of masturbation. Do not be ashamed to do this. Never be ashamed to confess anythings no matter how embarrassing it might be.

I believe it was St. Teresa who tells the story of the death of a sister in the convent who everyone believed was such a holy nun that she must have gone straight to heaven.

One day while St. Teresa was in the chapel praying by herself, God allowed this old nun who had died to visit St. Teresa. The nun seemed to be in pain and suffering. St. Teresa presumed the nun was in purgatory.

The old nun pleaded with St. Teresa to tell all the other sisters to never be too embarrassed about any sin as to avoid confessing it. The old nun said that she had been too embarrassed to confess a mortal sin and thus died in a state of mortal sin and was now in hell.

NEVER, avoid confession because embarrassment.

Now, in your case, since the Church requires the minimum of confessing "kind and number" that is all you must do. But, I would suggest that you search your conscience and pray about it to decide whether or not to confess more details.

That choice is up to you.

God Bless,
Bro. Ignatius Mary