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Question Title	Posted By	Question Date
RE: Living God's Will	Miguel	Friday, February 12, 2010
Question: The problem I and many others have is that we have no idea what love is. At Mass and other church activities, it's love as an emotion that we hear about. It makes people feel happy, safe and secure. I go to Mass and hear homilies that rarely mention it. However, when they do, I goes over my head as, due to my dysthymia, have no reference for it. I may know my "numbers and letters," but the priest might as well be discussing international law and IRS regulations or describing the colors of the rainbow to the blind. It was on this board that I first learned the definition of love as an act of will. Years of catechism classes, confirmation class (my teacher being ill-informed about many things, such Bible interpretations, didn't help) and even leading a few of my own and this was never mentioned. Maybe it was seen as a given, but it shouldn't be. Given the broken homes and the state of the world, how can it? One could say I could have looked to the saints for examples, but most seemed to be too outside of the world and isolated from normal day to day life, too "gifted" by God. They're too high a standard. I know that's distorted, but that's my perception. It's why I look to St. Thomas More (introduced to me at a regular high school, not at church) who had a family, a occupation and faith and courage I wish I had 1/10 of. His actions showed love,as you defined it, for the king and others even when they hated him. When I help someone or do a good deed, there's no emotion behind it. No feeling happy for it. I could have easily decided the opposite and felt nothing, but I decide otherwise. Although, I'll admit I do it to prevent being bothered. Hearing testimonials about how God helped people doesn't help as all I've experienced is repeated failure. I don't hear about people who tried and failed, but had faith. You stated we shouldn't compare ourselves, but we do when people are provided as examples. He succeed, so can I and there must be something wrong when I don't. I'm sorry for rambling on here and don't seem to have a question here. Perhaps some time in the future you could write an article(s), book or even a series or record something about what love truly is. So, that's my request, not a question, for it seems that it's sorely needed. Thank you for your time.
Question Answered by Bro. Ignatius Mary, OLSM Dear Miguel: We can know what love is. God does not leave us to wonder about it. God has written down the definition in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a: Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends; This is true love. You will notice that in this definition there are no "feeling" words. The definition is about verbs (actions) we take toward another person. It is a decision of will. We can decide to do these things or choose not to. It is all our choice. This does not mean that romantic or emotional love does not exist; it does. But, emotions can come and go. Even in a long-term and loving marriage, it is unlikes the couple will "feel" love at every single second of their marriage. But, they still love each other and they move past the emotional lows. Why? Because they truly love each other as God as defined love. One of the reasons I believe there are so many divorces is that couple do not marry out of real love, but rather out of an emotional rush, or even a sexual rush. When the emotions fade, they say they no longer love each other and divorce. Actually, they never did love each other, they only have the rush of emotions (which are never sustained). As for the examples of the Saints, you are reading the wrong material. The stories of the Saints are filled with failures. What made them saints was not being holy and perfect, but persevering through their failures and sins and mistakes. The Christian like is about perseverance, not being successful in the eyes of the world, or in our own eyes. St. Paul talks about his constant failures. He says that he keeps doing things he does not want to do because of his weak flesh: (Rom 7:18-19; 24-25a) I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord! God even allows Paul to be harassed by a demon. When Paul asks God to take it away, God says no. From that experience Paul learned something, "I will all the more gladly boast of my weaknesses, that the power of Christ may rest upon me" (2 Cor 12:9b) If I let myself, my pride get away with me, I feel that I am failure now. My life has been filled with failures, but I have tried to learn from those failures, recognize my own part in those failures, and give it all to God. If I had not failed dozens of times in ministry and in many others way, I could not do what I do now. I could not answer these Q&As. I could not do the apologetics or counseling or spiritual direction I do. While all that is true, I still feel like a failure. That is because I am, but like St. Paul I have realized that the power of Christ rests upon my weakness. Reading the Saints is about reading about how they succeeded. Imitate them. You can you know. You can choose to do what they did in various situations. I would advise reading Introduction to the Devout Life (pdf file) by St. Francis de Sales. (Buy the book here.) He gives practical advice to the laity about how to live devoutly. I follow his advice all the time. God Bless, Bro. Ignatius Mary Footer Notes: This forum is for general questions on the faith. See specific Topic Forums below: Spiritual Warfare, demons, the occult go to our Spiritul Warfare Q&S Forum. Liturgy Questions go to our Liturgy and Liturgical Law Q&A Forum Liturgy of the Hours (Divine Office) Questions go to our Divine Office Q&A Forum Defenfing the Faith Questions go to our Defending the Faith Q&A Forum Church History Questions go to our Church History Q&A Forum

Question Title

Posted By

Question Date

RE: Living God's Will

Miguel

Friday, February 12, 2010

Question:

The problem I and many others have is that we have no idea what love is. At Mass and other church activities, it's love as an emotion that we hear about. It makes people feel happy, safe and secure. I go to Mass and hear homilies that rarely mention it. However, when they do, I goes over my head as, due to my dysthymia, have no reference for it. I may know my "numbers and letters," but the priest might as well be discussing international law and IRS regulations or describing the colors of the rainbow to the blind.

It was on this board that I first learned the definition of love as an act of will. Years of catechism classes, confirmation class (my teacher being ill-informed about many things, such Bible interpretations, didn't help) and even leading a few of my own and this was never mentioned. Maybe it was seen as a given, but it shouldn't be. Given the broken homes and the state of the world, how can it?

One could say I could have looked to the saints for examples, but most seemed to be too outside of the world and isolated from normal day to day life, too "gifted" by God. They're too high a standard. I know that's distorted, but that's my perception. It's why I look to St. Thomas More (introduced to me at a regular high school, not at church) who had a family, a occupation and faith and courage I wish I had 1/10 of. His actions showed love,as you defined it, for the king and others even when they hated him. When I help someone or do a good deed, there's no emotion behind it. No feeling happy for it. I could have easily decided the opposite and felt nothing, but I decide otherwise. Although, I'll admit I do it to prevent being bothered.

Hearing testimonials about how God helped people doesn't help as all I've experienced is repeated failure. I don't hear about people who tried and failed, but had faith. You stated we shouldn't compare ourselves, but we do when people are provided as examples. He succeed, so can I and there must be something wrong when I don't.

I'm sorry for rambling on here and don't seem to have a question here. Perhaps some time in the future you could write an article(s), book or even a series or record something about what love truly is. So, that's my request, not a question, for it seems that it's sorely needed.

Thank you for your time.

Question Answered by Bro. Ignatius Mary, OLSM

Dear Miguel:

We can know what love is. God does not leave us to wonder about it. God has written down the definition in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a:

Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful;
it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;
it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right.
Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never ends;

This is true love. You will notice that in this definition there are no "feeling" words. The definition is about verbs (actions) we take toward another person. It is a decision of will. We can decide to do these things or choose not to. It is all our choice.

This does not mean that romantic or emotional love does not exist; it does. But, emotions can come and go. Even in a long-term and loving marriage, it is unlikes the couple will "feel" love at every single second of their marriage. But, they still love each other and they move past the emotional lows. Why? Because they truly love each other as God as defined love.

One of the reasons I believe there are so many divorces is that couple do not marry out of real love, but rather out of an emotional rush, or even a sexual rush. When the emotions fade, they say they no longer love each other and divorce. Actually, they never did love each other, they only have the rush of emotions (which are never sustained).

As for the examples of the Saints, you are reading the wrong material. The stories of the Saints are filled with failures. What made them saints was not being holy and perfect, but persevering through their failures and sins and mistakes. The Christian like is about perseverance, not being successful in the eyes of the world, or in our own eyes.

St. Paul talks about his constant failures. He says that he keeps doing things he does not want to do because of his weak flesh:

(Rom 7:18-19; 24-25a) I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing.

What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!

God even allows Paul to be harassed by a demon. When Paul asks God to take it away, God says no. From that experience Paul learned something, "I will all the more gladly boast of my weaknesses, that the power of Christ may rest upon me" (2 Cor 12:9b)

If I let myself, my pride get away with me, I feel that I am failure now. My life has been filled with failures, but I have tried to learn from those failures, recognize my own part in those failures, and give it all to God.

If I had not failed dozens of times in ministry and in many others way, I could not do what I do now. I could not answer these Q&As. I could not do the apologetics or counseling or spiritual direction I do. While all that is true, I still feel like a failure. That is because I am, but like St. Paul I have realized that the power of Christ rests upon my weakness.

Reading the Saints is about reading about how they succeeded. Imitate them. You can you know. You can choose to do what they did in various situations. I would advise reading Introduction to the Devout Life (pdf file) by St. Francis de Sales. (Buy the book here.) He gives practical advice to the laity about how to live devoutly. I follow his advice all the time.

God Bless,
Bro. Ignatius Mary

Footer Notes: This forum is for general questions on the faith. See specific Topic Forums below:
Spiritual Warfare, demons, the occult go to our Spiritul Warfare Q&S Forum.
Liturgy Questions go to our Liturgy and Liturgical Law Q&A Forum
Liturgy of the Hours (Divine Office) Questions go to our Divine Office Q&A Forum
Defenfing the Faith Questions go to our Defending the Faith Q&A Forum
Church History Questions go to our Church History Q&A Forum