Dear Mariam:

Our prayer are to be of forgiveness for those who have hurt us, and even to bless those who hurt us. This is the command of Christ who said to bless those who persecute you.

(Luke 6:27-28)  "But I say to you that hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you."

St. Paul repeats this teaching (Rom 12:14) "Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them."

To pray for God justice upon those who have hurt us is just a sneaky way to ask God to mete out revenge for our sake. There is no difference.

God is a just God, all of us, including our abusers, will receive His perfect justice automatically. We do not have to ask Him for it.

In terms of man's justice, that is, the justice of the State to criminals, if someone has committed a crime against us, we can ask God that justice be met in the case. But, even in that we should not have an attitude of revenge. Rather, the person ought to be held accountable for his actions and society protected from his crimes.

For us personally, we need to forgive the criminal. Forgiveness does not mean letting the criminal off the hook. We need to report the crime to the police, file charges, etc. In doing that, we may and should still forgive him.

This is the same with our own sins. When we commit a sin (which the Church calls a "crime"), God can forgive us the sin (crime), but the consequences of the sin remain. If I drive drunk and kill someone and paralyze myself, God can forgive me of the crime, but the consequences remain. The other person is still dead and I am still paralyzed.

In non-criminal issues, we can forgive the person, but that does not mean that we must like the person or have anything more to do with him. The consequences of the abusers actions may be permanent loss of our friendship, but we still must forgive him.

Jesus said when he taught the disciples the Our Father that for us to be forgiven we must forgive others. It is hard to forgive for many people because of pride and lack of trust and faith in God. But, another common reason for lack of forgiveness is a lack of knowledge about the meaning of forgiveness.

We spend some time with our clients on this subject. We have a pamphlet that is useful in understanding these issues:

Dealing with Bitterness and Unforgiveness (pdf file)

I recommend this pamphlet to everyone.

God Bless,
Bro. Ignatius Mary