Dear Lisara:

Jesus answers your question about how intimately God is concerned about your daily life:

 "Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you shall eat or what you shall drink, nor about your body, what you shall put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?  And which of you by being anxious can add one cubit to his span of life?

"And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they neither toil nor spin; yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O men of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the Gentiles seek all these things; and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all.  But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things shall be yours as well. Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Let the day's own trouble be sufficient for the day." (Matthew 6:25-34)

But even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not, therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows. (Matthew 10:30-31)

According to God, he cares for you intimately and personally. He has even numbered the hairs on your head, which is a metaphor that He cares about all things, everything, of your life. This is what God promises and God is not a liar, He keeps His promises.

There are two primary issues that I think are contributing to your situation:

1) You are trying to compare yourself with the experiences of other people. Other people are not YOU. You are an unique individual, thus your experiences will not necessary be the same, or even similar to others. God looks at you for you. He does not compare you with others. That is what it means to "count the hairs on your head". The Scripture does not say that God is comparing your hairs with other people's head. Some of us have a lot of hair, some of us not so much. It doesn't matter as God is not comparing, so why do you?

2) You are looking a "feelings". Emotions are biologically based and cannot be trusted. Faith is not about emotions, it is about decisions of will. Emotions can lead you astray.

Sometimes it is hard to overlook the emotions we feel and see the objective truth of God. To my counseling clients I suggest the idea of compartmentalizing what we Feel, Believe, and Know.

There is a nursery rhyme that goes, "Jesus loves me this I know, cause the Bible tells me so..."

This little rhyme does not say, "Jesus loves me this I FEEL" or "Jesus loves me this I BELIEVE." It says, "Jesus love me this I KNOW." Why? Because God says so in the Bible and God is not a liar.

You can know that God love you personally, individually, and intimately because He says so. He cares for you so much that He has counted the hairs on your head. There is nothing in your life that God does not care about. He cares about you, all of you, all of your life, all of your experiences great and small.

Thus, sometimes we have to focus on what we know to be true, even if we do not quite believe it or feel it. Often times when we submit our wills to what we know to be true, the belief will follow later, and then the feelings come after that.

It is also helpful if we know who we are in Christ. Frankly, most people do not really know. For our counseling clients we have an entire session on this. I would advise that you read that pamphlet and take it to heart.

Who We Are in Christ (pdf file)

(Be sure to look up all the Scripture verses)

Know who you are in Christ, pray the litany in this pamphlet daily, focus on what you know to be true for now. The rest will follow later.

God Bless,
Bro. Ignatius Mary