Ask a Question - or - Return to the Faith and Spirituality Forum Index

Question Title	Posted By	Question Date
Unmarried overnight guests in your home	Vincent	Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Question: Brother Igantius, I have a very close friend that I have know since he and I were children. I have invited him on several occasions to visit my wife and me. On those occasions he has come alone but now he has asked if he may bring the women he is living with. My question is this, by permitting my friend and his “significant other” to stay at our home would I be committing a sin? I know that if I were to suggest separate bedrooms my friend would be offended. Although my friend was raised Catholic, attended Catholic school from first grade through high school, had two very religious parents but now, for whatever his reasons, has apparently abandoned his Catholic faith. Brother Ignatius, it has always been my belief that if you condone what God has condemned, then you, may be held accountable for the same sin that you have condoned. I will await your council on this matter. Thank you again for your faith and your ministry, Vincent.
Question Answered by Bro. Ignatius Mary, OLSM Dear Vincent: Many people face this dilemma. But, the teachings of God are not suspended because of an awkward situation with a friend or even with a adult child who brings home a friend. You are correct that you become an accomplice when you permit a sin. The Catechism states: 1868 Sin is a personal act. Moreover, we have a responsibility for the sins committed by others when we cooperate in them: - by participating directly and voluntarily in them; - by ordering, advising, praising, or approving them; - by not disclosing or not hindering them when we have an obligation to do so; - by protecting evil-doers. 1869 Thus sin makes men accomplices of one another... I believe that you have a moral obligation to testify to the Faith to your friend and insist that he and his girlfriend sleep in separate accommodations. This is your home and you have right and an obligation to protect your home from sin. If he is really a friend, he will not be offended by this and will happily respect your wishes. He can always go to a motel and do so without any hard feelings. If he decides that, then you need to respect him for respecting your wishes, even though his will be with his concubine (the technical name for one living together without marriage) in the motel. God Bless, Bro. Ignatius Mary Footer Notes: This forum is for general questions on the faith. See specific Topic Forums below: Spiritual Warfare, demons, the occult go to our Spiritul Warfare Q&S Forum. Liturgy Questions go to our Liturgy and Liturgical Law Q&A Forum Liturgy of the Hours (Divine Office) Questions go to our Divine Office Q&A Forum Defenfing the Faith Questions go to our Defending the Faith Q&A Forum Church History Questions go to our Church History Q&A Forum

Question Title

Posted By

Question Date

Unmarried overnight guests in your home

Vincent

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Question:

Brother Igantius,

I have a very close friend that I have know since he and I were children. I have invited him on several occasions to visit my wife and me. On those occasions he has come alone but now he has asked if he may bring the women he is living with.

My question is this, by permitting my friend and his “significant other” to stay at our home would I be committing a sin? I know that if I were to suggest separate bedrooms my friend would be offended.

Although my friend was raised Catholic, attended Catholic school from first grade through high school, had two very religious parents but now, for whatever his reasons, has apparently abandoned his Catholic faith.

Brother Ignatius, it has always been my belief that if you condone what God has condemned, then you, may be held accountable for the same sin that you have condoned.

I will await your council on this matter.

Thank you again for your faith and your ministry,

Vincent.

Question Answered by Bro. Ignatius Mary, OLSM

Dear Vincent:

Many people face this dilemma. But, the teachings of God are not suspended because of an awkward situation with a friend or even with a adult child who brings home a friend.

You are correct that you become an accomplice when you permit a sin. The Catechism states:

1868 Sin is a personal act. Moreover, we have a responsibility for the sins committed by others when we cooperate in them:

- by participating directly and voluntarily in them;

- by ordering, advising, praising, or approving them;

- by not disclosing or not hindering them when we have an obligation to do so;

- by protecting evil-doers.

1869 Thus sin makes men accomplices of one another...

I believe that you have a moral obligation to testify to the Faith to your friend and insist that he and his girlfriend sleep in separate accommodations. This is your home and you have right and an obligation to protect your home from sin. If he is really a friend, he will not be offended by this and will happily respect your wishes. He can always go to a motel and do so without any hard feelings. If he decides that, then you need to respect him for respecting your wishes, even though his will be with his concubine (the technical name for one living together without marriage) in the motel.

God Bless,
Bro. Ignatius Mary

Footer Notes: This forum is for general questions on the faith. See specific Topic Forums below:
Spiritual Warfare, demons, the occult go to our Spiritul Warfare Q&S Forum.
Liturgy Questions go to our Liturgy and Liturgical Law Q&A Forum
Liturgy of the Hours (Divine Office) Questions go to our Divine Office Q&A Forum
Defenfing the Faith Questions go to our Defending the Faith Q&A Forum
Church History Questions go to our Church History Q&A Forum