Dear Joe:

I am sorry that your wife is so confused about all this, but the teaching on homosexuality is not "Catholic", it is the teaching of the Word of God. St. Paul makes it crystal clear that homosexual sex is grave sin.

(Rom 1:24-32)  Therefore God gave them up in the lusts of their hearts to impurity, to the dishonoring of their bodies among themselves, because they exchanged the truth about God for a lie and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed for ever! Amen.

For this reason God gave them up to dishonorable passions. Their women exchanged natural relations for unnatural, and the men likewise gave up natural relations with women and were consumed with passion for one another, men committing shameless acts with men and receiving in their own persons the due penalty for their error. And since they did not see fit to acknowledge God, God gave them up to a base mind and to improper conduct. They were filled with all manner of wickedness, evil, covetousness, malice. Full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, malignity, they are gossips, slanderers, haters of God, insolent, haughty, boastful, inventors of evil, disobedient to parents, foolish, faithless, heartless, ruthless. Though they know God's decree that those who do such things deserve to die, they not only do them but approve those who practice them.

These are the words of Sacred Scripture, inspired by God. That means it is the Word of God, God's teaching to His people. No Church can contradict God's teachings and claim to be Christian. No person can disagree with God and claim to be Christian. Jesus said, "If you love me, you will keep my commandments" (John 14:15). Commandments means teachings. This passage in Romans is the teaching of Jesus because it is the inspired and infallible Word of God, and Jesus is God.

The Catholic Church is only repeating what God has taught. The Church has no other choice.

A person with homosexual orientation can be completely happy without sinning. In fact, it is not possible for anyone to be truly happy in sin. One does not have to have sex (homosexual or heterosexual) to be happy. Such a idea is the product of a perverted society that essentially worships sex.

There are untold millions of people who live without sex and are perfectly happy -- widows, older people, those with medical problems, single people, priests and religious. Married couples who live without sex due to some medical problem or old age may be totally happy.

I take a vow of chastity. I am happy despite that sex is not part of life. It is a immature and perverted generation that asserts that sex is "required" to be happy.

For your wife to say, "well at least he can still eat" is rather uncharitable and childish. A homosexual can do anything anyone else can do except sin. None of us are suppose to be sinning. The standards for the homosexual are the same as for all people -- do not sin.

The purpose of sex, according to God, is to procreate and to bond the husband and wife for the raising of children. Homosexually cannot do this.  Single heterosexuals cannot do this. All sex outside of the marriage of man and woman, married to each other, is sin.

As the Catechism states:

2360 Sexuality is ordered to the conjugal love of man and woman. In marriage the physical intimacy of the spouses becomes a sign and pledge of spiritual communion. Marriage bonds between baptized persons are sanctified by the sacrament.

2361 "Sexuality, by means of which man and woman give themselves to one another through the acts which are proper and exclusive to spouses, is not something simply biological, but concerns the innermost being of the human person as such. It is realized in a truly human way only if it is an integral part of the love by which a man and woman commit themselves totally to one another until death."

Tobias got out of bed and said to Sarah, "Sister, get up, and let us pray and implore our Lord that he grant us mercy and safety." So she got up, and they began to pray and implore that they might be kept safe. Tobias began by saying, "Blessed are you, O God of our fathers. . . . You made Adam, and for him you made his wife Eve as a helper and support. From the two of them the race of mankind has sprung. You said, 'It is not good that the man should be alone; let us make a helper for him like himself.' I now am taking this kinswoman of mine, not because of lust, but with sincerity. Grant that she and I may find mercy and that we may grow old together." And they both said, "Amen, Amen." Then they went to sleep for the night.

2362 "The acts in marriage by which the intimate and chaste union of the spouses takes place are noble and honorable; the truly human performance of these acts fosters the self-giving they signify and enriches the spouses in joy and gratitude." Sexuality is a source of joy and pleasure:

The Creator himself . . . established that in the [generative] function, spouses should experience pleasure and enjoyment of body and spirit. Therefore, the spouses do nothing evil in seeking this pleasure and enjoyment. They accept what the Creator has intended for them. At the same time, spouses should know how to keep themselves within the limits of just moderation.

2363 The spouses' union achieves the twofold end of marriage: the good of the spouses themselves and the transmission of life. These two meanings or values of marriage cannot be separated without altering the couple's spiritual life and compromising the goods of marriage and the future of the family.

...

2357 Homosexuality refers to relations between men or between women who experience an exclusive or predominant sexual attraction toward persons of the same sex. It has taken a great variety of forms through the centuries and in different cultures. Its psychological genesis remains largely unexplained. Basing itself on Sacred Scripture, which presents homosexual acts as acts of grave depravity, tradition has always declared that "homosexual acts are intrinsically disordered." They are contrary to the natural law. They close the sexual act to the gift of life. They do not proceed from a genuine affective and sexual complementarity. Under no circumstances can they be approved.

2358 The number of men and women who have deep-seated homosexual tendencies is not negligible. This inclination, which is objectively disordered, constitutes for most of them a trial. They must be accepted with respect, compassion, and sensitivity. Every sign of unjust discrimination in their regard should be avoided. These persons are called to fulfill God's will in their lives and, if they are Christians, to unite to the sacrifice of the Lord's Cross the difficulties they may encounter from their condition.

2359 Homosexual persons are called to chastity. By the virtues of self-mastery that teach them inner freedom, at times by the support of disinterested friendship, by prayer and sacramental grace, they can and should gradually and resolutely approach Christian perfection.

This teaching from the Catechism is not some "Catholic invention". This has been the teaching on marriage and homosexuality since the beginning, since A.D. 33. Actually, these teachings go back to ancient times with Moses and before.

If I have a friend who is a living together without marriage I can still be friends with him while at the same time disapproving of his sin. In fact, I have been friends with many homosexuals as I use to live in a predominately homosexual community. They all knew my position, the Church's position, but we were still friends.

We can never reject Truth for the sake of friendship. If we do that we risk our souls and we show ourselves to be immature and prideful.

But, as mentioned, maintaining the Truth does not have to end a friendship. However, if it comes to making a choice between the Truth and a friendship, we must choose Truth as God is Truth. Jesus himself that he did not come to bring peace between people, but division. Then he describes how even families are ripped apart because of Him. Some people just will tolerate Truth.

(Mat 10:34-38)  "Do not think that I have come to bring peace on earth; I have not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law; and a man's foes will be those of his own household. He who loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; and he who loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me; and he who does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me." 

Here Jesus speaks of family members, but the same thing goes for friends and community.

We can love the sinner, but hate the sin. Your wife can love her friend, but disapprove of his sin.

As for not believing in the Devil, she is not telling the truth. If there is no Devil, there is no reason to be fearful. Jesus talked more about the devil and hell than he did about heaven. Jesus believed in the devil, how dare we not! The devil sure believes in her!

I am happy to hear that your wife is attending Mass with you. Praise God. But, I am sorry to have to say this, but she should not be going forward with arms crossed to receive a blessing. She and everyone have already received a blessing in the Mass.

While the Church has decided to investigate the possibility of approving this gesture, the Church currently prohibits this practice and parish priests are under obligation to not allow it.  One of the main reasons is that everyone has already been blessed.

One who is not communion with the Church, or a Catholic in grave sin, needs to remain seated in the pew. Few will notice the folding arms in the communion line. The real humility is to remain in the pew. I remain in the pew when I am not properly disposed even when wearing monastic robes. Believe me, people notice. But, it is an excerise in humility. As St. Francis de Sales said, "A ounce of humilty is worth more than a thousand pounds of honor."

You cannot force her to come to her senses or to accept God's teachings. You can pray for her and keep praying for her. Perhaps with many prayers going up to heaven she will will accept the Holy Spirit promptings and come to accept the Truth. At that time, she can become Catholic if she desires.

"You shall know the Truth, and the Truth will set you free" --Jesus (John 8:32)

God Bless,
Bro. Ignatius Mary