Dear Mary:

I am sorry that you and your husband are going through this. It is very difficult. I do have some suggestions.

Your husband needs to be accountable for his actions, and you need to understand that this is not about his feelings toward you. This is about an addiction. I can assure you that your husband is disgusted with himself, but can't seem to stop. It is difficult for the wife, but it is critical that you are supportive of his efforts to stop this behavior. His addition does not mean he loves you less or is no longer attracted to you. This is an addiction that is more difficult to stop than it is for smoking.

I would suggest that both your husband and yourself watch the video, "Somebody's Daughter". This video includes the comments and advice from a wife who has been through this with her husband. I think this video will help to understand a little better the dynamics of this addiction.

I recommend buying the DVD, Somebody's Daugther, but there is a shorter online version you and your husband can watch.

There are some articles that I recommend too:

My Husband Watches Pornography, and I Want Him to Stop. Who can I Talk To

Internet pornography: Modern threat to marriage and families

I also advise installing Covenant Eyes on the computer. Covenant Eyes tracks all Internet browsing. It is like having a person looking over the shoulder all the time.

Also, we have a support group for people with sexual addictions. I would advise that your husband join our group. The group is called, Catholic Support Group for Sexual Addiction Recovery. This group has helped many people.

We will be praying for your husband and for you. This problem can be worked through. It will take work, but it can be done.

God Bless,
Bro. Ignatius Mary