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Question Title Posted By Question Date
Spiritual connection in friendship. Emma Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Question:

Hello

I have been blessed with a very spiritual nature that can be sensitive to the state of souls. I've also had experiences that can only be described as "in God" or deep protection and union with Him outside of time. These I have spoken with to a priest and he feels they are good from God.

I also have the burden of a horrible past, in which overwhelming fear or horrible self esteem will make me run from God and what is good.

Since December Ive made friends with a like soul, though he is just over 15yrs older than I (I am 25). WONDERFULLY in God and completely loves God.

We have come to pray together alot. We both need prayer and healing and we spend a good deal of time together just praying together.

Lately, Ive seen images of Gods power, written them down in my diary or such. Then as I struggle with something a week or so later he will speak to me of an image he sees. They are not "common" images yet, the minute details can often be the same. It seemed a funny coincidence at first but now its happening more often.

We are both single so there is no danger of scandal.

I dont know how to proceed. And Ive tried to take it to God, yet Ive received no word besides just "be". And that really makes me confused.

So my questions:
How do I know its from God, ergo, would God show such images between two friends?

And, if so, is it right to draw close to someone spiritually like we are, where we are in tune, so to speak?



Question Answered by Bro. Ignatius Mary, OLSM

Dear Emma:

Sorry for the delay in responding.

We always need to praise God for the good gifts He gives us and use those gift to the Greater Glory of God. But, even with these gifts we must be careful and on guard that we are properly using those gifts and always according to His will.

Concerning your relationship with this man, great caution is always needed in any relationship with with the opposite sex who is not our spouse. There is a certain distance and decorum that must be maintained at all times. Never underestimate such relationships as being immune from the possibility of crossing inappropriate lines. This kind of prudence is taught by the Saints.

Billy Graham, the Baptist evangelist who has never had a sex scandal in his ministry, was ask why there had never be a problem. He replied that he would never be alone with a woman unless his wife was present.

There is a story told of an old priest in his death bed. The housekeeper came into his room and thought he may have died. To check she bent over and placed her cheek next to his mouth to see if he was still breathing. Just at the moment the priest woke up and saw this woman hovering over him. He declared in a loud voice, "Get thee hence woman, the fire still burns." He died a few minutes later.

This holy priest, even at 90 years old and about to die, understood the prudence of a certain distance that must be had between men and women who are not married to each other.

You are placing yourself in danger of possible scandal on two levels. Depending on your decorum with this man, you and he may cause scandal to others in that your closeness may be seen as others as imprudent. Some may think that the relationship is more than it is. Now, we cannot be enslaved by those who commit rash judgment and gossip, but at the same time we need to be circumspect about how others may see the relationship no matter how innocent it is.

Secondly, you are developing a close relationship that could turn into a sinful one. Do not think that this is not possible. There are many, many improper and sinful relationships that start out exactly as your describing. No matter how much you think that will not happen, it is possible the more your relationship grows closer. I am not saying that this is a certainty, but I am saying that you must realize and accept the possibility and proceed with caution maintain a proper distance.

St. Paul said that all things are allowable, but not all things are prudent. While there is nothing wrong or sinful about a relationship as you describe, and even if there is no occasion for sin present, it may not be prudent. You and he must consider those possibilities.

As far as the images are concerned, since you have not revealed what these images are there is not much I can say specifically. But, speaking generically, God will not give any you any images that are counter to the teachings of the Bible or of the Church. He will not give you any images that would lead you into imprudent behavior or friendships.

As for the man receiving similar images, I think it is unlikely that this is coming from God. What would be the purpose of such a phenomenon? God does not do things arbitrarily. So what is the purpose of this? God would also not give you obscurant answers to the purpose of this.

The devil, on the other hand, does have a motivation to inspire you two into imprudence. We must remember that the devil can give us images, too. He can sift our imaginations like wheat.

I would place no significance in this images. I would advise you with the same advice of St. Teresa of Avila to not seek out mystical experiences. If someone has such experiences they must have a spiritual director who knows about such things. Never interpret these things by yourself.

I would recommend reading A Still, Small Voice: A Practical Guide on Reported Revelations by Father Benedict J. Groeschel. Anyone who has any sort of subjective spiritual or mystical experience should read this book.

Remember that in the subtleties of subjective experiences an enemy may lurk. Be careful, very careful both with your spiritual experiences and with this man.

God Bless,
Bro. Ignatius Mary

 

 


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