Dear Geraldine:

I would suggest that a person who chooses to sin by marrying outside the Church, and thus risking their soul, should not be encouraged to marry in this way even tacitly.

The Catechism states:

1868 Sin is a personal act. Moreover, we have a responsibility for the sins committed by others when we cooperate in them:

- by participating directly and voluntarily in them;

- by ordering, advising, praising, or approving them;

- by not disclosing or not hindering them when we have an obligation to do so;

- by protecting evil-doers.

1869 Thus sin makes men accomplices of one another and causes concupiscence, violence, and injustice to reign among them....

If this daughter chooses to sin, she needs to know that she is sinning gravely and one of the ways to let her know that is to not attend her wedding. That tells her just how serious this is that her family and friends will not attend.

At the same time, one loves his daughter. Love demans truth and justice, but also mercy. Not attending the wedding tells the truth and applies Justice by not cooperating in the daughter's sin and thereby teaching her a consequence for her actions. Attending the reception, however, is mercy. I don't think there is a problem attending the reception as it is not in itself a sin, but that will be up to the conscience of the parents and friends. To attend the reception can keep the doors of communication open. Hopefully, in the future, the daughter will do the right thing and have her marriage blessed in the Church.

God Bless,
Bro. Ignatius Mary