Hi Brother -

I wanted to respond to the woman who asked about the marital relations when having a cerclage. My wife also has what is known as "weak cervix syndome", and has to have cerclages before each pregnancy. We have discussed at length with our doctor what is and isn't allowed medically, and the PRIMARY RISK in intercourse during a cerclage is that the wife climaxes. This is very dangerous because it can cause tearing and induce premature labor.

I would strongly suggest she (and any other women in a similar circumstance) consult with her doctor and explain her moral issues with non-vaginal intercourse, and then see what is possible. What me and my wife do is to have "hanky panky" (and this DOES MOSTLY revolve around me, since she cannot climax or even come close), and as I get to climax I insert my penis about halfway into her vagina and climax. I believe this would be OKAY morally for a Catholic - but this is where you would have better knowledge than I brother ignatius - and also be safe medically.

Again, I would say CONSULT YOUR DOCTOR FIRST, but I believe the greatest risk in intercourse is the wife climaxing. The sperm itself does pose some risk (or so our doctor told us) to the wife's uterus, because it can "soften" or "ripen" it (thus potentially causing tearing), but that requires the wife to be very aroused and lubricated, which in our case doesn't happen b/c as I previously stated, the foreplay is focussed on me.

While I realize this might sound very selfish on my part, it really isn't. My wife has a strong desire to please me, and even though she has some minor frustrations from not being able to climax, she is very pleased herself when she feels she is being a good wife. We also do a lot of cuddling afterwards, which in a way is her favorite part of sex.

So brother I don't know if you can advise the women who asked the original question, but would what I described be "okay" from a Catholic worldview?

Thanks!
JB