Dear David:

Please forgive the delay in responding.

Your experience illustrates some of the primary problems of the Charismatic Renewal.

A genuine expression of a non-essential form of faith or practice should not lead to anyone feeling left out or inadequate in faith. The Charismatic experience is a non-essential. For those who wish to participate, that is not a problem. But, others should not feel inadequate by it. The Charismatic Renewal is NOT to be a church within a church. Pope Benedict has specifically warned about this tendency of the Charismatic Renewal. There is but one Church and the liturgy is only as the Church directs it.

Secondly, you did not say whether or not the "hand waving, speaking in tongues" was during Mass? If this is being done during Mass, then that parish is breaking Church law. There is only one kind of Mass; there is no such thing as a Charismatic Mass. And that Mass must be performed as the Holy See says it is to be performed. At no time should tongues, congregational hand-holding, the orans posture (holding arms out palms open during the Our Father), folk songs (most "charismatic" songs are folk in style), or other liturgical irregularities or innovations be performed during Mass -- ever.

Thirdly, is the issue of Tongues. Nearly all Charismatic groups practice tongues improperly.  At "Charismatic meetings" the common practice of everyone praying or singing in tongues violates the directive of St. Paul in the Bible.

Fourthly, the explicit or implicit pressure upon people to speak in tongues is patently improper. St. Paul says that tongues is the least of all gifts. While most Catholic Charismatics will give lip-service to the truth that God does not give the gift of tongues to everyone, there is almost always an implicit pressure to do so, as if tongues is an aid to increased faith. St. Paul suggests otherwise. And in fact the whole tongues issue was a major pain in the neck to the Pope and to St. Paul. As a result of the "charismatic" expression in Corinth, the Church there was divided and childish. St. Paul wrote two letters to the Church and Pope Clement wrote a letter to the Church in Corinth ordering them to shape up and fly right or be under the pain of sin.

I would advise that you read the article Charism Gifts Building Up the Church. This essay details the pros and cons of the Charismatic renewal, including a detailed analysis of the contamination into the Renewal of "Pentecostalisms".

If the Renewal avoids the Pentecostalisms, stays close to the Church, obeys liturgical laws, heeds the directives of St. Paul, does not develop into a church-within-the-Church in effect, and practices the gifts properly and with an accurate understanding of the gift that are given to build-up the Church, not oneself, then the Renewal can be beneficial and an asset to the Church.

Bottomline: Worship of God is to be uplifting. You should not feel inadequate in any way. If that is how you are feeling, then I would change parishes.

God Bless,
Bro. Ignatius Mary