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WARNING!! This question and answer is of a mature nature. Parental discretion is advised.

Dear Richard:

I have combined your two posts into one and have numbered the issues 1) and 2) and 3).

I am glad you asked the questions. Given today's disordered society on sexual matters, these questions are important.

On issue #1, the catechism defines masturbation as:

2352 By masturbation is to be understood the deliberate stimulation of the genital organs in order to derive sexual pleasure. "Both the Magisterium of the Church, in the course of a constant tradition, and the moral sense of the faithful have been in no doubt and have firmly maintained that masturbation is an intrinsically and gravely disordered action." "The deliberate use of the sexual faculty, for whatever reason, outside of marriage is essentially contrary to its purpose." For here sexual pleasure is sought outside of "the sexual relationship which is demanded by the moral order and in which the total meaning of mutual self-giving and human procreation in the context of true love is achieved."

2351 Lust is disordered desire for or inordinate enjoyment of sexual pleasure. Sexual pleasure is morally disordered when sought for itself, isolated from its procreative and unitive purposes. 

Even if we were to strictly define masturbation as sexual stimulation of the genitals, which might preclude anal stimulation, it is still a sin in that it is lust and it is the use of the sexual faculty outside of the mutual self-giving within marriage (the bold portion of the quote above). The rubber band around the scrotum is a form of masturbation as it involves your genitals directly.

The answer is that these activities are gravely sinful. You may confess them as sexual self-stimulation.

What these activities are, psychologically, is paraphilias. I would advise you contact a counselor experienced with sexual paraphilias to help you overcome these activities.

On issue #2: You say you "may" have touched your cousin in sexual areas? Either you did or you didn't. There is no "may" about it. If you touched her sexually with her consent and she was an adult then it is the grave sin of incest. If she was underage then, with or without her alleged consent, it is sexual molestation of a child which is a felony crime and a grave sin. Yes, this must be confessed.

You must deal with these attractions or someday you might act out on them and find yourself in prison and a poor girl traumatized for years to come.

On issue #3: Lusting after anyone, teenager or adult, is a grave sin and needs to be confessed. Should you act out on these attractions to underage teenagers it is a felony crime and a grave sin.

As for dealing with the attraction itself, I would advise seeing a counselor experienced in dealing with inappropriate sexual attractions before something unfortunate happens and you become a sex offender (if you haven't already with your cousin).

We will pray for you.

God Bless,
Bro. Ignatius Mary