| Question Title | Posted By | Question Date |
|---|---|---|
| Keeping the faith or the baby | Josef | Wednesday, December 10, 2008 |
Question: I am a Catholic since 3 months old. I am marrying a moslem who convert to Catholic 5 years ago, and our marriage is a sacrament. Last 2 years I am doing adultery by building a "complete" relationship with another woman, and was thinking to divorce my wife. But my wife is an extremely devoted Catholic, and willing to born all painful treatment because of me, and do not want to leave me. Finally, I realize my mistake and would like to come back to my wife. Then the disaster happened. The other woman is pregnant. Honestly, I really want the baby, since my wife is sterile after undergone a surgery which completely took out her womb. Now, I am so confuse, since it is a sin to marry the other woman - a polygamy-, but leaving the woman who insist to keep the baby (instead of abortion) is also morally disgraceful, and the future born baby will NOT be baptized since this other woman is not a Catholic. In case I marry the other woman - conducting a poligamy- is there any penitention to be forgiven, since deep in my heart I hate this sin and doing the marriage to "save" the baby? (but I have to admit that I do love BOTH of the women). |
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| Question Answered by Bro. Ignatius Mary, OLSM
Dear Josef: Any sin can be forgiven if one is sorry for the sin and promises to make amendment. You cannot marry this other woman even though you had a child with her. You are morally obligated to remain married to your wife. It is a sin to divorce your wife. If you divorce and marry this other woman without getting an annulment then you will be living in adultery with this other woman and risking your soul to hell. That is not want you want to do and living like that is not fair to the woman or your child. What you need to do is to seek the Sacrament of Confession to confess these sins, go back to your wife and never see this other woman again except as necessary when concerning your child. You cannot ever again have sex with this other woman under any circumstances. You also need to provide financial support for your child. It is very shameful what you have done, but you can be forgiven by God if you honestly are sorry for your sins and promise to never do it again and promise to do the right thing. Hopefully, your wife will forgive you as well as this other woman since you have hurt both of them. It is important that you never see this other woman again except as absolutely necessary, such as picking up the child for visitation or discussing the welfare of the child (which can be done by phone). Never be alone with her during those times when it is necessary to see her. This is especially the case since you say that you love her. That makes it more important to avoid being around her. You must do all that is possible to do to avoid the near occasion of sin so as to avoid futher sin and also to attempt to build trust with your wife. You have brutally harmed and hurt your wife. It will take time for her to trust you again. But, with God's help, a lot of prayer, maybe some marriage counseling, and your determinattion to make things right with your wife, perhaps your marriage can be saved. God bless,
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