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Question Title Posted By Question Date
Re: Revenge Jon Saturday, November 15, 2008

Question:

Hi Brother -

I just wanted to comment on vengeance. You made the comment that vengeance made one feel worse about their situation, not better. I have to disagree with you on that point.

Ever since I was a child, I've always felt infinitely better if I avenged myself when someone wronged me.

If I did nothing, and simply allowed their hutful actions against me to remain unavenged, it gnawed at me inside. I could get no sleep until I righted things.

Each time after I avenge myself, I feel immediate satisfaction, and I no longer think about how I was wronged.

To me - and I don't know that I'm the best barometer for the human race - avenging myself is the only way I can lay a matter to rest and get on with my life.

This isn't to say I'm right, but I think there is a natural need for vengeance within us (otherwise why would we have law?), and that executing that vengeance does feel good.

I should also comment that I've felt good when forgiving someone too - either action makes me feel good, it's just harder to get over the initial hump of forgiving someone, especially when they aren't sorry for what they did. In fact, I only get the good feeling with vengeance when someone refuses to see the wrongfullness (or doesn't care).

So is executing our own vengeance really just more an issue of faith? I.e., we don't have enough faith in God that he will exact vengeance for us, since he says "Vengeance is mine.."?
Question Answered by Bro. Ignatius Mary, OLSM

Dear Jon:

I am sorry Jon, but any feelings of satisfaction you had in gaining revenge were born of immaturity and dysfunctional conscience and emotional state. Revenge destroys the soul and it damages our personality and our psychological health (whether we realize it or not). All sin damages the human person in mind, body, and spirit.

Your statement, "In fact, I only get the good feeling with vengeance when someone refuses to see the wrongfullness (or doesn't care)" reveals a serious pride on your part and an effort to be your own god. (Read the previous Q&A about the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil).

You need to resign as your own god and let God be God. He will take care of those people who hurt you. Your job is to forgive them even if they are not sorry for what they have done.

Jesus reveals in the Our Father (Lord's Prayer) that if we will not forgive others, then we will not be forgiven ourselves.

To fail to forgive, as well as to seek revenge, are grave sins that risk your own soul to hell.

Vengeance may be a natural inclination. So is having sex even when unmarried. For some people killing or rape is a natural inclination for them. Greed and covetousness is a natural inclination. So what? Sin is a natural inclination, but we are called by God to NOT sin, to rise above sin. That is what the Ten Commandments are about -- God saying rise above the natural inclinations to holiness. We are not animals who cannot control our passions. We are human beings with the capacity to not only control our passions, but to conform out passions to the will of God.

I suggest you do that for the sake of your spiritual and pychological health and the destiny of your soul.

God Bless,
Bro. Ignatius Mary

 

 

 

 
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