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Question Title	Posted By	Question Date
Attending Protestant wedding ceremony?	Matthew	Monday, September 8, 2008
Question: Brother Ignatius, I am in a bit of a confusing and stressful situation. My cousin contacted me and requested that i be one of the groomsmen at his wedding. I'm a little bit hestitant and i told him that i'd have to check with my priest because of it being a non-catholic ceremony. Not only is it non-catholic, but there is more. He originally spoke with a protestant minister about marrying him and the minister told him that he needs to go through 3 months of pre-marital counseling because he hasn't known the girl that long. Well he refused and simply found an "ordained minister" on the internet who will be marrying him in a restaurant. He was baptized Catholic, received first holy communion, and confirmation. A few years ago, he moved to Ohio (from Baltimore) and began attending a local Pentecostal church. To my knowledge he has never formally left The Catholic Church, he just started attending this other because he "liked it better." I don't believe he ever officially left the Catholic Church by receiving Bishop's approval. I told him that i wouldn't be able to be a groomsman, because I feel uncomfortable doing so because he is still Catholic. I said that i could still attend the ceremony, but felt uncomfortable actually being a groomsman. Now, my Mother and Father are extremely upset with me and said that what i did was a slap in the face to my cousin and a disgrace to the family. Ahhhh....the pain of bearing the cross for the sake of staying true to the faith. Have i done the right thing in your opinion?
Question Answered by Bro. Ignatius Mary, OLSM Dear Matthew: There are several factors that support not even going to the wedding let alone refusing to be a groomsman. His flippancy toward marriage by his actions with the Protestant minister is alone enough to not support the wedding. But, as a Catholic his marriage is invalid if done outside of the Church unless he has a dispensation from the Bishop and the reasons for that are extremely limited. (No bishop can give permission to leave the Church, by the way). As for being a slap in his face, yes it was, as it should be. One of the reasons to not attend such weddings is to show the errant person that what they are doing is so dysfunctional that you will not support it. Hopefully, it will plant a seed that may grow later. As for a disgrace to the family, that is nonsense. You were an example of integrity to your family. They ought to follow your leadership. God Bless, Bro. Ignatius Mary Footer Notes: This forum is for general questions on the faith. See specific Topic Forums below: Spiritual Warfare, demons, the occult go to our Spiritul Warfare Q&S Forum. Liturgy Questions go to our Liturgy and Liturgical Law Q&A Forum Liturgy of the Hours (Divine Office) Questions go to our Divine Office Q&A Forum Defenfing the Faith Questions go to our Defending the Faith Q&A Forum Church History Questions go to our Church History Q&A Forum

Question Title

Posted By

Question Date

Attending Protestant wedding ceremony?

Matthew

Monday, September 8, 2008

Question:

Brother Ignatius,

I am in a bit of a confusing and stressful situation. My cousin contacted me and requested that i be one of the groomsmen at his wedding. I'm a little bit hestitant and i told him that i'd have to check with my priest because of it being a non-catholic ceremony.

Not only is it non-catholic, but there is more. He originally spoke with a protestant minister about marrying him and the minister told him that he needs to go through 3 months of pre-marital counseling because he hasn't known the girl that long. Well he refused and simply found an "ordained minister" on the internet who will be marrying him in a restaurant.

He was baptized Catholic, received first holy communion, and confirmation. A few years ago, he moved to Ohio (from Baltimore) and began attending a local Pentecostal church. To my knowledge he has never formally left The Catholic Church, he just started attending this other because he "liked it better." I don't believe he ever officially left the Catholic Church by receiving Bishop's approval.

I told him that i wouldn't be able to be a groomsman, because I feel uncomfortable doing so because he is still Catholic. I said that i could still attend the ceremony, but felt uncomfortable actually being a groomsman.

Now, my Mother and Father are extremely upset with me and said that what i did was a slap in the face to my cousin and a disgrace to the family. Ahhhh....the pain of bearing the cross for the sake of staying true to the faith.

Have i done the right thing in your opinion?

Question Answered by Bro. Ignatius Mary, OLSM

Dear Matthew:

There are several factors that support not even going to the wedding let alone refusing to be a groomsman. His flippancy toward marriage by his actions with the Protestant minister is alone enough to not support the wedding.

But, as a Catholic his marriage is invalid if done outside of the Church unless he has a dispensation from the Bishop and the reasons for that are extremely limited. (No bishop can give permission to leave the Church, by the way).

As for being a slap in his face, yes it was, as it should be. One of the reasons to not attend such weddings is to show the errant person that what they are doing is so dysfunctional that you will not support it. Hopefully, it will plant a seed that may grow later.

As for a disgrace to the family, that is nonsense. You were an example of integrity to your family. They ought to follow your leadership.

God Bless,
Bro. Ignatius Mary

Footer Notes: This forum is for general questions on the faith. See specific Topic Forums below:
Spiritual Warfare, demons, the occult go to our Spiritul Warfare Q&S Forum.
Liturgy Questions go to our Liturgy and Liturgical Law Q&A Forum
Liturgy of the Hours (Divine Office) Questions go to our Divine Office Q&A Forum
Defenfing the Faith Questions go to our Defending the Faith Q&A Forum
Church History Questions go to our Church History Q&A Forum