Dear Clayton:

Marrying outside the Faith is not encouraged by the Church. You have an obligation to raise your children as Catholics. To marry a non-Christian makes that very difficult. How can the mother of your children raise the kids Catholic especially since mother's have such a great influence on the children's formation?

This is really a bad idea and one fraught with potential problems. Marriage is hard enough without having dramatically different religious faiths between husband and wife.

Frankly, I would advise not dating this woman. It is not prudent.

On the technical side, should you not do the prudent thing and decide to marry this woman, you have to get a dispensation from the Bishop. The requirements to receive that dispensation is an agreement that the children will be raised Catholic, not Catholic/Muslim, but Catholic, an assurance that the Catholic spouse (yourself) will not be impeded in any way from practicing the Catholic Faith, and the wedding conducted according to Canonical Form.

Canonical Form means that the marriage must be a Catholic wedding before Catholic clergy, not a Muslim ceremony. It cannot be a combination Catholic-Muslim ceremony, nor can you have two wedding ceremonies (one Catholic and one Muslim) in which consent and vows are exchanged in both ceremonies. The wedding must be Catholic, although a Muslim minister may be present, not to receive the vows, but to offer a blessing or say a few words.

The reception, however, can be according to Muslim traditions. And a Muslim minister can have a blessing ceremony, but the exchange of vows (the actual wedding) must be Catholic.

(By the way, a Catholic marrying a non-Catholic Christian must have the bishop's permission. Marrying a non-Catholic Christian is also not advised especially with the problems that occur in raising the kids in such a mixed faith situation. Like with marrying a non-Christian, there must be a promise to raise the kids Catholic, nothing to impede the Catholic spouse from practicing the Catholic Faith, and Canonical Form.)

Bottomline: Catholics need to date only Catholics and marry only Catholics. To do otherwise is a great risk of tension in the marriage between spouses due to differences in religious faith. With the children a mixed marriage can cause them to be confused, conflicted in who to believe, the mother or the father, and a great risk that their faith will not be as solid as it should be. The job of parents is to provide a solid and consistent religious and faith influence to their children, to model a "Catholic" marriage and family. This simply cannot be done in a mixed marriage.

We need to avoid the selfishness of dating and marrying anyone we please in disregard for the potential problems mixed marriages cause the spouses and especially the children.

God Bless,
Bro. Ignatius Mary